Saturday, April 2, 2011

Saying Goodbye Thrice

Tuesday, March 29, 2011:  I said goodbye to my helper of almost 8 years.

Sadness tried to stop me from letting her go but I had to set her free.

Remember the feeling of breaking it off with the person you really love, but you have to end the relationship because it isn't right?  You initiated the break-up but it still hurts just the same.

It was my decision to terminate my helper's services but for some unexplainable reason, I still felt a slight stab in my heart.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011:  I said goodbye to DELANOR Health Products Trading.

My business technically ended last Feb. 15, 2011 when I decided not to renew my contract with Starmall Las Piñas.  However, I didn't apply for closure right away  because I still had to establish "closure" to the very core of my being.

As I was sitting in the Treasurer's Office of our City Hall waiting for my turn, I still couldn't believe that I was about to say goodbye to a dream I once had -- a dream I thought I could turn into a reality which would last forever.

But the feeling of emptiness didn't last long.
I just told myself: " If I could say goodbye to my dear husband, I could say goodbye to anyone or anything."

Thursday, March 31, 2011:  I said goodbye to STI, my son's second home for 4 years (from Grade 4 to HS 1)

Dec. 15, 2010 . . . as I utter these words in opening my speech during the final recognition day of STI, I could already see tears flowing down the cheeks of my audience.
Dec. 15, 2010 was the day STI informed everybody that it will close its basic education program.  I don't know how and why I was chosen to give the inspirational talk in the culminating activity of my son's school but I'm happy I did it.

Last Wednesday, however, as I was driving from home to STI to get Gio's Form 137 and Certificate of Good Moral Character, it dawned on me that this was the very last time that I will set foot on this school. Suddenly, my heart hardened and I found it difficult to breath. It wasn't just a stab that I felt.  It was more of an elephant leg crushing my chest.  Sure, there are a lot of schools in Las Piñas but it was already inputted in my CPU that my son would finish high school in STI.

After I got the 2 envelopes, I said goodbye to the staff and teachers who were playing cards in the lobby trying to amuse themselves.  I wanted to tell them that "everything is for the best" but opted not to.

As I walked back to the car, I said a prayer for everybody.  My heart grieved for them and for a while, I forgot my own problems that were choking me for the past 3 days.