Wednesday, November 30, 2022

The Wonder of Ma. Teresa

May 2, 1983: It was the first day of our SQP (Summer Qualifying Program) for admission to MS Industrial Economics at CRC (Center for Research and Communication), now University of Asia and the Pacific. We were initially around 35 participants with different ages and varied university courses. While mostly were fresh graduates, I was freshly heartbroken. Yup. After quitting my dream job at San Miguel Corp. (Sigh), I entered CRC with the main agenda to forget my painful past and start anew.

Aiming to camouflage my deep sorrow and suffering, I was ridiculously beaming ear to ear when I entered our elegantly carpeted classroom. For what I thought was a harmless gesture, one woman found my behavior particularly obnoxious. If she could help it, she would detach herself and stay away from me as far as possible! Consequently, we never talked to each other during the whole 2 months of SQP. She avoided me like I was some kind of plague that would bring havoc to mankind. At my end, I personally didn’t care less because she seemed like a spoiled anti-social brat to me hahahah . . .

But as the saying goes, “God works in very mysterious ways”. To our astonishment, we were assigned together as partners for recruitimg graduating students from UE to apply for CRC’s IEP. That time, she was already driving her own car to school. So I was her navigator (no Waze back then) during our trip to UE CM Recto, the campus where I spent my 3rd and 4th year in High School. 

From the moment we boarded her car up to UE and back to CRC we were talking, giggling and laughing like star-struck teenagers. We were like best friends since infancy! We discovered that our first impressions of each other were totally wrong after all. We were then full of regrets that we denied ourselves the joy of being together for 2 months. It was incredible how we bonded so naturally after that glorious trip.

From then on, she started joining our TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) gimmicks. We were slashed to only 13 now so we all became very close with each other. One time when I gained so much weight because of mindless eating, she handed me a Hula Hoop to trim my extended waist. According to her, there were no belly dancers with rounded bellies so I should try the Hula Hoop whenever I can. True enough, I was endowed with a flat stomach after only 15 minutes a day of this plaything.

It would take a whole book if I were to write my 39-yr. old friendship with this amazing woman. She is quite intimidating at first but once you get to know her, she is actually a very “simple” person. Quite honest. So honest that when I was assigning the tasks to be shared among the 5 of us women in our rented partment, she was honest to admit that she was just a “simple”person. So simple that she had no housekeeping skill to contribute. To be fair and square to everybody, I asked her if she had the capacity to open the faucet and fill the dipper with water, then pour the water on the plants in the front garden of our apartment. After witnessing my actual demonstration, she confidently declared that she could do it. 

Later on, I was able to see for myself why she was ignorant of any household work. When I first visited her home, I learned that she was the only daughter of a prominent business magnate in Cebu. She practically grew up like a modern-day princess, surrounded by her “subjects” in a freaking palace! I had a heart-to-heart talk with her mother and she admitted that it was her fault for not allowing her daughter to be taught the basics of housekeeping. Well, much has changed ever since this daughter got married to her Prince Charming. Nanay had to stay with them in their marital home until she learns everything she needs to know to keep the house running. If you can see her now, you will surely believe in God and His miracles. This once “simple” woman has evolved to become the most efficient and the most organized homemaker I’ve ever known!

Tatay and Nanay loved me so much that they trusted me with their daughter’s future. They knew that I acted as “bridge” between her and her future husband, whom I sensed was the right man for my friend. The odds against my matchmaking project were very strong: Ted is younger than Tessie’s youngest brother and Tess is older than Teddie’s oldest sister! Also, Ted is the only son with 3 sisters and Tess is the only daughter with 3 brothers heheheh... Tess had lingering fears to tie the knot but with Ted’s impeccable persistence, we joined forces to help Tess see and feel that his love for her is far greater than anything else. After 33 years, their love for each other is stronger than ever!

Tess and I share many things in common and went through memorable adventures together: we are down-to-earth individuals, minimalist in so many ways, loved eating sweet and sour pork and shrimps with cashew nuts and green peas in our favorite Chinese restaurant in EDSA Central after our swim in Ultra where she attempted to teach me the breast stroke. She trained with me and cheered for me when I stubbornly wanted to win the race in our Sports Fest. We hiked through muddy fields to Imelda Falls in Majayjay, Laguna after a devastating storm. We got hijacked by men in uniform with arms in Divisoria after buying fabrics for her boutique. We enjoyed shopping and eating and drinking and watching movies together and of course, just talking to each other for endless hours.

While we share common interests, Tess and I are also different from each other in some peculiar ways. I have no qualms eating by myself in public. In fact, I actually enjoy the experience. Whereas my friend swears she would never dare eat alone in a restaurant. Ironically, Tess prefers to celebrate special occasions in private, with only family and very few close friends while I would be ecstatic being surrounded by a lot of acquaintances  and colleagues. My friend’s comfort shirt is midnight black while mine is bloody red. Contrasting indeed! While I can only dream of travelling around the world, Tess already did that. Many times in fact. At this point in my life, I have learned that some things are not just meant to be so I am letting go of this dream. But I would definitely fulfill my son’s fantasy to tour Japan.  He thought we went to Tokyo when we fled from his father but later on discovered that I shamelessly lied to him. To redeem myself, I vowed to bring him to real Japan when he graduates from College. 

Thanks to Tess, I have my special place to go back to when I need to unwind or want to disappear. Cebu has been my sanctuary ever since our CRC days. After enjoying my temporary escape from life’s real threats, I return to my cruel world fully refreshed and highly energized. Her parents were generous enough to love me as if I’m their own flesh and blood. I shared the whole family’s grief when they lost Tatay. I was there with them in Cebu when he was finally laid down to rest. I found it hard to say goodbye to the man who loved me the way I am. He was one of the most thoughtful persons I have encountered in this lifetime. He and his wife were both very kind to me that I felt like royalty when I was with them. It is no surprise that I chose Cebu to be our destination when me and my children fled from my EX in 2002.

I love you Tess, in the most spectacular way that Niklaus Mikaelson loved her daughter Hope: I love you more than all the days and nights, deeper than the oceans and the skies.

Happy happy birthday Tess! I am your friend for all seasons, always and forever.

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

The Pursuit of Happiness

Sometimes, the road to happiness is quite rocky, long and winding. My son was barely 5 years old when we fled to Cebu. His sister was only 2 1/2 yrs. old then. While I was beyond ecstatic that I finally freed myself from the claws of a turbulent marriage, my children were forced to face the harsh reality of a broken family.

After our Great Escape, my son and I became the worst of enemies. He stubbornly demanded for their father to live with us and it didn’t help that my EX was pleading for our family to be whole again. He showered me with buoquet of flowers every week but I did not budge. Through the innocent eyes of my favorite son, I was the ruthless monster in human form that caused our family to split. Eia was born with Down Syndrome but acted as my pacifier during the Mother Vs. Son War that dragged for almost 10 years. I thought I could finally breathe and relax when the battles between Gio and I miraculously ended but I was wrong. We were all taken by surprise when Eia suddenly showed disturbing and violent behaviors. The recurring episodes prompted me to seek the help of a psychiatrist and clinical psychologist. At 16, she exhibited signs of Bipolar Disorder. Gio had this theory that Eia was probably reacting to the aftermath of the separation but only manifested at a much later time because of her condition. With this unexpected turn of events, a reversal of roles played into action. It was now Gio who consoled and assured me that things will get better sooner than I expected. And he was right! It didn’t take 10 years for Eia to be herself again. Though she still takes ANTIPSYCHOTIC tablet to prevent any episode, it is now reduced to only 1/4 of the prescribed dosage of 1 out the 3 meds that she used to take. Praise God!

I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision to give up my marriage. Whenever I think about it, I immediately hit the pause button to stop my line of thought because it’s now water under the bridge. When you decide on something, do everything in your power to make it right. Put in your heart and soul to make the people you love happy with the consequence of your decision.

My son is graduating Cum Laude for Bachelor in Music, Major in Piano from UP Diliman. He is overjoyed living his passion of teaching piano to children and adults anywhere in the world. He also plans to study Psychology and pursue Law and I’m gonna support him all the way. My daughter enjoys her Reading class in Kumon and is always excited to complete her daily worksheets. She already fulfilled her childhood dream of staging her own Concert when she turned 18 and is now awaiting for the reschedule of her drums recital which was originally slated last May, 2020.

Are we happy now? You bet we are!

(Thanks for dropping by. You may chat with me via Messenger or send email to ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)