Thursday, November 11, 2021

WHEN YOU REACH THE END OF YOUR ROPE, HOLD ON TO YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

22 years ago, I gave birth to a daughter with Down Syndrome.

6 years ago, it seemed like I gave birth to 10 children more who was either 1) aggressive 2) depressive 3) overtalkative 4) withdrawn 5) bubbly 6) sulky 7) clingy 8) aloof 9) hostile and 10) violent.

Eia was the sweetest person on earth before she suffered the painful “breakup” with her best friend. She was never been the same after that traumatic experience in her life. Gio would wonder when are we going to have a normal life in our household and I told him “You and I were the worst of enemies for 10 years. So this scenario will probably last for at least 10 years. Thank God this only happened now. I would have gone insane if I were battling with you and Eia at the same time.” Gio would then try to pacify me by saying that it won’t probably take 10 years for Eia to go back to being “normal”.

Initially, no medication worked for Eia. She was prescribed 3 types of ANTIPSYCHOTIC drugs but she continued exhibiting unpredictable behavior. I was at a loss. A psychiatrist and clinical psychologist were simultaneously taking care of her but there was no change in her behavior at home. Strange but she enjoyed talking with her psychiatrist and psychotherapist.

When I believed that we were all doing our best and exhausted all possible means for Eia but she remained the same—in fact getting worse, I surrendered everything to God. Following the “Let go and let God” principle, it did not matter anymore whether Eia will revert to her old self or not. I would accept her for what she is and wouldn’t try to change her anymore. I would love her as she is, with all her tantrums and whatever “episode” she’s having. I would love everything about her and will not expect her anymore to love me the way she loved me before.

When I faced the problem head on without any fear of what the future held, that’s the time Eia slowly went into metamorphosis. Her “episodes” became fewer and shorter. When I finally embraced the reality that I was actually dealing with 10 daughters and swore to love each one of them dearly, that’s when positive changes miraculously started to emerge. 

As of this writing, Eia is taking only 1/4 of 1 tablet out of the 3 tablets she was taking before. Everyday is still a new adventure with Eia but praise God her “episodes” are now reduced to 1-3 times daily. We could now laugh at how we drastically changed our drinking glasses to stainless steel because Eia broke the glass cover of our dining table after hitting it with her glass when she went berserk.

Eia is truly God’s gift to me. Her pediatric cardiologist even predicted that she won’t live the day to celebrate her 1st birthday (that is of course another story) without an open heart surgery but by God’s grace, she is now 22. Thank you Lord!

(Thank you for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. I appreciate them very much! You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)