Mother. Caregiver. Breadwinner. Homemaker. Runner. Who (or what) comes first?
First and foremost, I am the only daughter of my dear parents.
If and when my services are needed by my father and my children at the same time, my role as a hands-on mom takes the back seat.
My kids know that their grandfather is almost 87, and they understand my predicament.
One time, Gio saw how I devoted my time in assisting his Lolo that he remarked: "Lolo is becoming helpless every day. I'm happy I won't be taking care of you, the way you're taking care of Lolo. Because I'm sure you'll still be running 'til you're 100." (Well, I just hope he's right!)
I'm a single parent. Naturally, I should be earning enough to send my children to school and provide for their needs.
When my husband and I separated, I asked my mother if she could resign from her job and take care of her grandchildren for me to work full-time. She was 68 at that time. Gio was almost 5, Eia was only 2 1/2.
Without even giving it a serious thought, my mother impulsively answered: "Ako na lang ang magtrabaho. Ikaw na lang ang mag-alaga sa mga anak mo, pati na sa tatay mo."
Yup. That was the arrangement. In theory, at least.
I couldn't just let my mother carry all the financial burden in our family so I took the licensure examinations in Life and Non-Life insurance and thank God I passed. I also put up a small business to augment the family income but had to close early this year because I simply couldn't be in 4 places at the same time.
Sometimes it drives me nuts to balance everything that I need to do. I want to help more people plan their future. I want to keep the house clean and tidy, I want to be always around to fulfill my father's needs, I want to be there when my children need me. I want to inspire more people to run. I want to be a catechist and teach young children about Jesus, hopefully molding them to work for the common good. I want to train and run the marathon again. I want to be an active member of CFC's Handmaids of the Lord, providing comfort and solace to single mothers like me.
How about you? Are you torn between 2 or 3 or even 4 roles that you have to fulfill? How do you cope with the dilemma?
