Finding The Time to Exercise

My favorite son abhors exercise. Well, I’m not at all surprised because I used to hate it too. I was already 50 when I became a running addict. But I can’t help but smile whenever I see him travel to the farthest end of our house to use the comfort room there instead of the one right beside his bedroom. He also trots to the kitchen countless times a day. And I find it amusing that he has to go around his room to reach his bed coming from the door because of fixtures blocking his way to go straight to his bed (though I wanted to remind him that the shortest distance berween 2 points is a straight line, I refrain myself so he could add mileage to his steps).

Given the above scenario, I would estimate that my son walks 1 - 2 kms a day without even leaving the premises of our house. If a person who doesn’t want to exercise can walk at least 1 km a day without even trying, then there is no reason why a person who wants to exercise cannot find the time to do it.

For starters, try exercising 5 minutes in the morning and another 5 minutes at night. Slowly extend the time until you reach a total of 30 minutes a day. I have a friend who runs at 12 noon for 30 minutes then goes back to her office to change and eat her lunch. She is a mother of  3. She avoids running in the morning and after office hours to prioritize her children’s needs. Running during lunch break was perfect timing for her! A very dear friend walks at 4pm for nobody dares to wake her up before 8am or all hell will break loose!

When Eia was still receiving Occupational Therapy before, I run (rain or shine) while the therapist was attending to her but I made sure to be back on time to change my clothes and fetch her.

In one of our previous Agency meetings our Boss asked “What have you done by 8am today?” During that beautiful day, it so happened that I was already up at 4:00am to meet my client friend who just got off from her night shift work. The presentation went well and after she signed the application, I attended the 6:00am mass at Philamlife church. I ran 5 kms after that then joined the Tai-Chi group inside our Village’s basketball court until 8:00am.

Now that most of us work from home, it is a lot easier to find the time to exercise. Or is it really?

If you prefer to stay in dreamland rather than work out in the morning, you don’t have to force yourself to wake up early. You may exercise late in the afternoon. Or you can do it an hour after dinner. You may also do it anytime during the day. Like when you are just listening in a ZOOM meeting, turn off your camera. You can hula-hoop, jump rope, lift dumb bells, jog in place, exercise on a stability ball. My office table is not a table. It is one of my display cabinets when I was still renting a commercial space in StarMall.  I use it as my work table so I can stand while working. And while standing I do different forms of exercise. You may wonder if I’m a masochist but I can assure you that I’m quite the opposite. (I ran away from my EX remember?)

If you have the desire to exercise you will surely find the time for it. No doubt about that. You don’t need to be motivated to do it just as you don’t need to be motivated to brush your teeth 3X a day. Your schedule doesn’t include brushing your teeth but you just do it out of habit. Regard your exercise to be as simple as that. As simple as brushing your teeth. Doing it as if it’s the most natural thing to do. You may email me at ndelr62@gmail.com if you’re still struggling with your exercise time or if you have questions about what type of exercise to pursue.

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and messaging me your comments/reactions. I appreciate them very much! Stay safe everyone.)

Enjoy Your Conversations With God!

The Perpetual Adoration Chapel used to be my sanctuary. As of now however, I am just thankful that we can still be in communion with the Holy Eucharist anytime of the day via YouTube’s Perpetual (24/7) Eucharistic Adoration. Yes, it is virtual but the way the candle emits its flame, you can almost feel its warmth and imagine that you’re actually inside the chapel with the Lord.

There is “A Quarter of an Hour before The Blessed Sacrament” guide but I prefer to use my fingers as reference. Somebody told me before that when she prays the Rosary before the Blessed Scarament, she could feel Mama Mary praying with her. I did the same but added some enhancements. There are five decades of the Holy Rosary and we have 5 fingers on our hand. Before I start each decade, I offer intentions based from my version of the 5-Finger Guide. 

Starting from the smallest finger, this gives us the hint whom to pray for. Pray for people who are impoverished, physically weak, hospitalized, emotionally deranged, mentally ill, spiritually lost, unemployed, lonely and depressed. These are mostly intercessory prayers. Also include fervent prayers for those who went ahead of us  (like Our Lady of Fatima Parish Priest Msgr. Albert Venus whose funeral mass we celebrated this morning with Bishop Jesse Mercado. May his soul and the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.) 

Moving on, the ring finger signifies marriage. So before praying the 2nd Decade, offer prayers for your family members, relatives, including people closest to your heart though not related by blood.

The middle finger is the tallest. Pray for the highest ranking official in your country and for the rest of the world, the people leading your province/city/town/village/barangay. Pray for the Pope or the leader of your church, including your parish priest, the CEO or President of the corporation you work for, people leading organizations, associations, formal and informal groups. Then proceed with the 3rd Decade.

Next is your fourth finger, the pointer. Before praying the 4th Decade, pray for your children’s teachers and therapists and for those who teach, advise, cure, counsel, direct and set guidelines. Pray for all professionals that they practice their craft with the welfare of the common good in mind.

Lastly, your thumb points to yourself. After praying for everybody else, time to focus on your wants and desires. Talk to God without any inhibitions. Pour out everything to Him. You may pray spontaneously or follow the ACTS (Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, Supplications). Then pray the last Decade.

After talking continuously, allow yourself to be embraced by God. Keep still. Listen to what He wants to tell you. Open your heart to Him. Always have a notebook and pen beside you to take down notes on His messages. Enjoy your conversations with God!

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and messaging me your comments/reactions. I appreciate them very much! Stay safe everyone.)

My Reflection on Chinkee Tan’s Financial Advice

 AIA PHILIPPINES (formerly Philamlife) sponsored a free live webinar today with Chinkee Tan as guest speaker. It was a lively, down-to-earth interaction.

Chinkee Tan enumerated 6 ways how to spend wisely your Christmas Bonus (or extra money in general).

1. Pay off your debt. Even if you could only afford ₱500 a month, do it religiously and pay extra when you receive your Christmas Bonus to shorten the payment period. 

2. Build your Emergency Fund. He proposed 6 to 12 months worth of Emergency Fund. It would probably take years for an ordinary employee to achieve this but if you don’t start now, it will never happen. He made a striking comparison of how the poor and the rich’s time frame in financial planning differ: 1) The VERY POOR plan their needs on a daily basis (Isang kahig, isang tuka). This got me thinking: I also belong to the “no work, no pay category!” 2) The POOR (contractual workers who receive wages every Saturday) plan their budget weekly. 3) The MIDDLE CLASS plan monthly. These are the employed who receive their salary at the 15th and end of the month. 4) The RICH plan yearly. 5) The VERY RICH plan by the decade. Hmmm . . . interesting. 

3. Start your second source of income. Or if you have more talents and skills, build multiple sources of income. (Message me on this one. You can join AIA PH and/or Malayan as part-timers.) 

4. Get protection money. Chinkee Tan showed a very simple formula for computing how much Income Replacement Fund a breadwinner should have: Monthly Expenses X 12 months X 10. (There are actually 3 ways how to compute this but Chinkee Tan probably picked the most convenient method for the benefit of simplicity.) We were amused when he told us that he is not encouraging us to buy life insurance. It’s because he won’t be the beneficiary! The life insurance benefits won’t be for him but for the family that the breadwinner will be leaving behind. His family should continue on living comfortably as before even though he’s gone. We laughed when he asked “who among you here are breadwinners? And who among you here are breadeaters?”  He then narrated the story that they recently bought a piece of real property under his wife’s name. He insisted that the MRI (Mortgage Redemption Ins.) should cover him and not his wife. Precisely because if something happens to his wife, he could still continue paying for the mortgage. But if something happens to him, his wife would be needing the Mortgage Insurance to settle the dues.

5. Think like a wealthy person. When you have extra money, invest it. He suggested that one should invest first in Financial Education because the best combination for being scammed is being ignorant and greedy at the same time. Sadly, it turned out that some attendees were unfortunately scam victims in the past.

6. Help others. God blesses us to be a blessing to others! Christmas is the best time to share your blessings. Give to charity. This reminded me of Fr. Agustino Miguel Torres when he said “the more you give, the more you’re meant to be.”

There are 3 channels where your hard-earned money goes: needs, wants , savings/investments. Chinkee Tan stressed the need to have a positive mindset about investing. Change your mindset from having a consumer mentality to investment mentality.

I agree with Chinkee Tan that most Filipino parents urge their children to study hard inorder to land a good job when they graduate whereas Chinese-Filipino parents urge their children to study hard to continue the family business or start a new one he could call his own. 

But I cannot completely agree with him when he generalized that the way you were raised affect your mindset now. It could possibly be the opposite, at least for rebellious children like me. My father tried to brainwash me since I was small to study well, get employed in a big corporation, strive to be promoted so I could help our relatives work with me in the company. I chose a different path, much to his disappointment. It’s because I chased after my childhood dream, which Chinkee Tan also mentioned. That of being true to your calling and passion when exploring other sources of income.

Someone asked if he could borrow to pay off his debts and Chinkee Tan answered “you cannot solve a permanent problem with a temporary solution. You cannot solve a problem by creating another problem.” If I were to answer this question, I would say “yes, you may borrow at 1% interest and pay off your debt that is currently charging you 2% interest.” It is simple logic. Why would you pay 2% interest if you have an option to pay at 1%? By all means grab the opportunity and slash the interest you’re paying by 1%!

Other than these two, thumbs up with Chinkee Tan’s practical tips on how to be wealthy. He presented them in a manner that people would easily understand, humoring his audience non-stop. I just loved the way he emphasized “Money you did not spend is money you earned.” To learn more, go to chinkeetan.com.

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and messaging me your comments/reactions. I appreciate them very much! Stay safe everyone.)

Culture Shock! (Musings of a Certified PROMDI: Part 4)

When I was still in Marbel and read about the 2 seasons in the Philippines in our textbooks, I couldn’t comprehend how the months of June to early October were called the Rainy Season and the months from late October to May were dubbed as the Dry Season. It’s because in Marbel, we enjoyed the same weather all year long—mostly sunny with scattered rainshowers every now and then. I just realized what our textbook meant when I had to remove my socks and shoes to prevent them from getting wet in the flood just outside our dorm all the way across UE. I was shocked at first but later on, I had gotten used to the harsh reality that in Manila, floods were prevalent during the Rainy Season of June to early October. I remember one time when it was like Pacific Ocean from our dorm on the way to San Beda Church. We were only wearing shorts inside our long cover coats. A tourist bus suddenly passed behind us, creating big waves that we couldn’t avoid. The passenger tourists were having the time of their lives watching us with their cameras and videos. We couldn’t do anything but suffer the consequence. We attended the mass with our undies soaked in flood water! 

Among the “6 sexy chicks of Room 6” of Holy Spirit Dorm, I was the baby of my room mates, being the youngest and still in 3rd Yr High Sch. My caring “momsies” taught me to use shampoo for my hair when they saw me using ordinary bath soap. In Marbel, we used to soak Gugo bark in a basin of water, rub the fibers to form lather, then use the suds as shampoo. I know you will find it hard to relate but yes, I am that ancient hahahah . . . Funny but one time, Gio’s classmate asked him what his shampoo was, because he’s having problems with dandruff. Gio told him he’s using Gugo Shampoo. His classmate thought that he was using Gugo bark so he asked Gio where he got the Gugo. When Gio answered him that his mom buys it from Mercury Drugstore, his classmate was really surprised that Mercury sold Gugo barks. As their conversation continued, the 2 classmates realized that they were not talking about the same thing. Gio was laughing when he narrated the story to me. He then discovered that long time ago, I actually used Gugo bark and not the commercialized Gugo Shampoo that we use now. We were both amazed how his classmate knew about Gugo bark as shampoo.

To be continued . . .

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and messaging me your comments/reactions. I appreciate them very much! Stay safe everyone.)

Culture Shock! (Musings of a Certified PROMDI: Part 3)

Back in Marbel, I never missed watching movies every Sunday. I have been a movie addict for as long as I could remember. I was privileged to own a permanent pass (my face actually hahaha . . . ) to enter the theatre because we were close friends with the Yap family who owned 2 moviehouses in my hometown. In Manila however, I found it hard to adjust because not only that I had to pay for my ticket, but the fact that I was only watching 1 movie per screening disappointed me. Ever since I was small, I was watching 2 movies at a time for free! Movies were always shown back-to-back in Marbel except for the 1965 classic “The Sound of Music” which ran for almost 3 hours.

I never had the chance to enjoy parties in Marbel. When we were in 2nd year high school, I was excited to attend our acquaintance party in one of our teachers’ house. But when I just had my plate filled with food, I didn’t even get to have one bite because my loving parents were already outside the gate fetching me! I went home hungry and frustrated for I missed my only chance to dance with my Crush. In Manila, I got the shock of my life because parties start late dinner and end with early breakfast the following day! Tatay instructed our Dorm administrator that I was restricted to attend parties but Nanay secretly gave the permission that I could go heheheh . . .

We never had field trips in Marbel. Though I had the chance to go to different towns when competing in declamation contests, I never travelled with the whole class. So Field Trips were a whole new experience for me. I enjoyed exploring different places with my new classmates in UE High Sch. who surprisingly turned out cool after all. The coolest were my 2 PROMDI friends like me—Belen from Malvar, Batangas and Delia from Botolan, Zambales. These 2 amazing girls made my 3rd and 4th yr. High Sch. life truly memorable. How I wish I could see them again someday!

To be continued . . .

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and messaging me your comments/reactions. I appreciate them very much! Stay safe everyone.)

WHEN PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE, BE READY TO BE AMAZED!

Eia was about 7-8 months old when her Pedia Cardiologist announced that we should schedule an open heart surgery for her before she reaches 1 year old. Otherwise, she won’t probably be able to live and celebrate her 1st birthday. He further explained that Eia had 2 holes in her heart that would definitely not close naturally, an enlarged left ventricle, and blocked artery. 

I thought giving birth to a child with Down Syndrome was the hardest blow I could possibly receive in this lifetime. This was worse. My mind went into a blur and I had to close my eyes because I could feel the world spinning around me. This was twice the anxiety and pain I felt before when I learned that Eia had Trisomy 21 (genetic disorder caused by a third copy of the 21st Chromosome). The doctor then advised us to bring Eia before her 10th month for her 2D Echo and to finalize the date of her operation.

“There is no way I will agree for Eia to have an open heart surgery Lord. Heal her or take her.” That was my bold declaration to God everytime I prayed inside the Perpetual Adoration Chapel. “Show me the way, Lord. The way to heal Eia to avoid this operation or take her life now.” When I said these prayers, I truly believed God will grant me a miracle.

While praying incessantly, Ate Ella and I brought Eia to various healing masses within Las Piñas City. Cyndy, the sister of my friend Agnes, tried texting Eia’s name to the radio station where they pray over the sick for healing. By God’s grace, Eia’s name was picked among the thousands of names that were sent!

When Fr. Corsie Legaspi scheduled his healing mass at St. Joseph the Worker Parish, we were there before 8am to be the first to be healed. To our surprise, it was announced on stage that only the first 100 will be prayed over individually. The rest will be in groups of 10, clasping hands together. And to our double surprise, even if we arrived early, we couldn’t be included in the first 100. These slots were reserved for terminally-ill cancer patients. We were further surprised when the announcer asked forgiveness from the parents of children. He apologised that children will only be allowed to follow the queue after the last set of adults were done. He thoughtfully explained that children were the last priority because according to him, they would go straight to heaven and become angels if ever they leave this world.

“And that was supposed to make us feel better?” I thought to myself. I disagreed with their rules but had no choice but to obey. Believe it or not, Eia finally had her turn @5pm later that day! I was holding Eia while Ate Ella was holding her other hand. I was also holding the hand of the person beside me. My tiredness and all other negative emotions escaped from me when Fr. Corsie Legaspi prayed over our group. I felt peace and stillness of heart. I was in a trance for a few seconds but did not let go of Eia. 

As advised, we brought Eia back to her Pedia Cardiologist before she turned 10 months old. As he was reading the monitor while conducting a 2D Echo on Eia, he was frowning and shaking his head while mumbling something that only he could hear. I asked him what was wrong and his answer froze my heart.

“Nagsara na ang dalawang butas. Normal na ang left ventricle. Wala ng bara sa artery.” (The 2 holes closed. The left ventricle is now normal in size. The artery is no longer blocked.)

I was holding my breath but managed to ask “So what are you saying Doc?”

“She doesn’t need an open heart surgery anymore,” he confessed.

I heaved a deep sigh of relief and wanted to give the doctor a very tight hug but decided to back off because he seemed perplexed, not understanding how in the world the impossible happened. We bid him goodbye and judging by the puzzled look on his face, he did not have the slightest clue how Eia’s heart healed on its own. 

Praise God Eia is now 22! Thank you Lord! Special thanks to Cyndy and to everybody who prayed for this miracle and of course to Ate Ella who was always by my side. I am forever grateful!

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. I appreciate them very much! You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

WHEN YOU REACH THE END OF YOUR ROPE, HOLD ON TO YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

22 years ago, I gave birth to a daughter with Down Syndrome.

6 years ago, it seemed like I gave birth to 10 children more who was either 1) aggressive 2) depressive 3) overtalkative 4) withdrawn 5) bubbly 6) sulky 7) clingy 8) aloof 9) hostile and 10) violent.

Eia was the sweetest person on earth before she suffered the painful “breakup” with her best friend. She was never been the same after that traumatic experience in her life. Gio would wonder when are we going to have a normal life in our household and I told him “You and I were the worst of enemies for 10 years. So this scenario will probably last for at least 10 years. Thank God this only happened now. I would have gone insane if I were battling with you and Eia at the same time.” Gio would then try to pacify me by saying that it won’t probably take 10 years for Eia to go back to being “normal”.

Initially, no medication worked for Eia. She was prescribed 3 types of ANTIPSYCHOTIC drugs but she continued exhibiting unpredictable behavior. I was at a loss. A psychiatrist and clinical psychologist were simultaneously taking care of her but there was no change in her behavior at home. Strange but she enjoyed talking with her psychiatrist and psychotherapist.

When I believed that we were all doing our best and exhausted all possible means for Eia but she remained the same—in fact getting worse, I surrendered everything to God. Following the “Let go and let God” principle, it did not matter anymore whether Eia will revert to her old self or not. I would accept her for what she is and wouldn’t try to change her anymore. I would love her as she is, with all her tantrums and whatever “episode” she’s having. I would love everything about her and will not expect her anymore to love me the way she loved me before.

When I faced the problem head on without any fear of what the future held, that’s the time Eia slowly went into metamorphosis. Her “episodes” became fewer and shorter. When I finally embraced the reality that I was actually dealing with 10 daughters and swore to love each one of them dearly, that’s when positive changes miraculously started to emerge. 

As of this writing, Eia is taking only 1/4 of 1 tablet out of the 3 tablets she was taking before. Everyday is still a new adventure with Eia but praise God her “episodes” are now reduced to 1-3 times daily. We could now laugh at how we drastically changed our drinking glasses to stainless steel because Eia broke the glass cover of our dining table after hitting it with her glass when she went berserk.

Eia is truly God’s gift to me. Her pediatric cardiologist even predicted that she won’t live the day to celebrate her 1st birthday (that is of course another story) without an open heart surgery but by God’s grace, she is now 22. Thank you Lord!

(Thank you for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. I appreciate them very much! You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

Culture Shock! (Musings of a Certified PROMDI: Part 2)

Continuing my story from Part 1, I tried my best adapting to my new environment. To lessen my stress, Nanay chose Holy Spirit Dorm because it was just a stone throw away from UE. More importantly, 4 of my 5 room mates were from Marbel and nearby towns. The administrator in Holy Spirit Dorm was hesitant at first to accept me because I was only 15 and just in Junior High. All the other boarders were College students. She was afraid I would be rowdy and undisciplined. But Nanay promised her that one unruly behavior I make, she will pull me out from the dorm. Thank God I had amazing room mates who made my life easier and happier during my first 2 years in Manila. 

One of my shocking experiences as a newbie in Manila was witnessing with my virgin eyes a male exhibitionist doing his ritual right in front of our dorm! That was his favorite spot. And because he was there often, everybody was already used to his presence. Well, everybody except me. I couldn’t believe that such kind of behavior existed in society and people would just brush their shoulders off as if it was just a normal thing to do.

Back in Marbel, my classmates and I enjoyed playing more than studying. I used to go to school with a skipping rope in my bag instead of books heheheh . . . We just loved to play whenever we had the chance. My friends and I were normally the last to leave the campus because we couldn’t get tired of playing. I really missed that. In UE, we had to go home @1pm because the Afternoon session students will be occupying the rooms. After dismissal, we automatically went our separate ways. My classmates were in a hurry to go home because they still had to commute and it was past lunchtime already. Sad. (Incidentally, Christopher de Leon was also a UE student. When his first film “Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang” was shown in 1974, the whole UE population probably supported his movie. I was so proud I was breathing the same air with him when he won the Famas Best Actor award in his very first appearance.)

I got another shock of my life after our teacher graded our first quiz. I didn’t know that it was common practice in UE to distribute the exam results one by one in class from highest to lowest. I then realized that my new classmates were very competitive with grades. If I didn’t get a perfect score, I wouldn’t be the highest in the Quiz or Exam. So I had to devote more of my time in studying. I hated it but had no choice. Tatay did not expect me to be the Valedictorian because I lacked the four-year residency but he trusted me to do my best. Strange how he obssessed for his only daughter to earn the Highest Honors when he himself barely passed during his time. Typical parent who wanted his frustrated dream fulfilled through his offspring.

To be continued . . .

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. I appreciate them very much! You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

Culture Shock! (Musings of a Certified PROMDI: Part 1)

I dropped my original plan of running away from home simply because my dear parents decided to transfer me to Manila after my second year of high school in Marbel, South Cotabato (now Koronadal City). Call it coincidence or whatever you like but what the Spirit of the Glass revealed to me before actually came true. God really works in very mysterious ways! 

A whole new world startled me when I first set foot in UE (University of the East) High Sch. For the first time in my life I felt lost and deserted. I was surrounded by 49 classmates who were probably best buddies since they were in Kindergarten and for them, I was a nobody. I must admit I wasn’t the friendly type before. I was an introvert by nature (I still am). So I sat at the very end of the room, my back touching the wall. Everybody was busy talking to each other but I just kept quiet. I listened attentively to our teacher when class started. My father repeatedly instructed me to recite in class for me to be easily recognized and I assured him I would. So when the teacher asked the question “What is the scope of Economics?” and nobody dared to raise his hand, I mustered up the courage to ask “May I try?”  The teacher addressed the whole class that she loved students who were willing to try. I then found myself at the center of everyone’s attention. There was complete silence that I could almost hear the beating of my own heart. Everybody waited in anticipation what this Promdi (person who grew up in the province and goes to Manila) was going to say.

The moment I opened my mouth and my classmates heard me talk, I hated myself for my guts. They started laughing at me and murmuring among themselves. I realized they were mocking my Ilonggo accent, dropping comments like “Bisaya gid.” I swear to God I could have just died right then and there. The fact that I was a school declaimer for 8 consecutive years in Marbel did not help at all. My self-confidence dropped below the ground along with my pride but not my determination. I struggled to ignore the huzz and the buzz around me and pressed on. When our teacher exclaimed “VERY GOOD!” after my introductory monologue, I was lifted up to the heavens. I instantly regained the dignity I lost and stood tall and proud. My classmates were dumbfounded and though I could feel their piercing stares, nothing could break me anymore. 

On the way back to the dorm I passed by a fruit stand and asked how much was the banana. The vendor told me 30 centavos. I gave her my payment and when she gave me 1 piece of banana, I asked her why she was only giving me a single banana. Imagine the shock on my face when I learned that the price was actually 30 centavos per banana when back in Marbel, bananas were sold at 30 centavos per bunch! I tried my best not to lose my composure while the vendor was meticulously scrutinizing me from head to toe as if to verify whether I was an alien from outer space that had just landed on earth.

To be continued . . .

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. I appreciate them very much! You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!

Ang Makulay na Daigdig ni Nora (My Colorful Life: Part 8)

Hello! Kindly read the previous post first because Part 8 is actually an EPILOGUE for Part 7.

After 10 years, my faithful bully and I met again. Not accidentally. He purposely went to my office in Coca-Cola Makati, knelt down on his knee (literally) and asked for forgiveness. I should have forgiven him then but I wasn’t yet ready to forget those 6 years of suffering when he tormented and humiliated me.

Two years later, he visited me in CRC (Center for Research & Communication) to again ask for forgiveness. During that time I was deeply immersed in the whole new world of “holiness” so forgiving someone was as easy as breathing. I remember when he asked me out to celebrate our reconciliation and told me to decide wherever I want to go. Lucky for him I was craving for Chocolate Marshmallow Cake of Red Ribbon. We ordered 1 slice each but to my dismay, the waitress told us that it cannot be sliced but could only be bought as a whole. Imagine my joy when Buboy assured her that he will buy the whole cake but we will be eating half of it there. Cake lang pala ang katapat ng anim na taong pagdurusa ko hahahah . . .

My bully-turned-friend left the Philippines after that and worked abroad. He was already married when we met again and was residing in Pasig. He unexpectedly appeared at the doorstep of my shop and for a while, visited me every month whenever he brings his sports car for maintenance check up to his mechanic residing in Las Piñas. Since then, we became very good friends. I guess the cliche “those who are against you now may be with you tomorrow” is true. Becoming close friends with your greatest enemy is inconceivable but by God’s grace, may miraculously happen.

My piano teacher, on the other hand, realized her past mistakes and made a public apology in FB for hurting her students in Marbel. I remember my friend Mimi describing her as “ang babaeng pumatay ng pangarap nating maging piyanista”(someone who destroyed our dream of becoming a pianist). My friend Mimi is now a gastroenterologist but she pursued her dream of becoming a pianist and I am very happy that she eventually fulfilled her passion. We are now good friends with Ma’am Linda. She is in fact delighted that my only son is majoring in Piano at the College of Music, UP Diliman, where her daughter teaches indigenous instruments. Small world indeed!

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your reactions/comments via Messenger. I appreciate them very much! You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

Ang Makulay na Daigdig ni Nora (My Colorful Life: Part 7)

Throughout Grade 1 to Grade 6, I was bullied by the son of our principal while his  two other best buddies took turns in making my life a living hell. To properly defend myself from my perpetrators, I pleaded with Nanay to enroll me in JUDO KARATE. But for whatever reason my stubborn mother had, she enrolled me in ballet instead. I was so freakingly mad with her that I refused to participate in class. Since she was always not around, she had no idea that I was just watching my classmates whenever I go to the Yap Residence where the class was being held. She only found out that I did not join the class before the day of the Recital. 

My mother enrolled me in piano without even asking me if I wanted to learn or not. Maybe because she was a frustrated pianist so she wanted to realize her dream through her only daughter. I probably had no qualms if only my piano teacher didn’t forcefully hit my fingers with her wooden ruler every time I make mistakes. So I fabricated excuses on days that she would come to teach. Of course I spaced out the days into intervals so they won’t appear too obvious. My alibis included stomachache, toothache, headache, colds, cough, and fever. I would estimate the time she would arrive, warming my hands, neck and forehead with a washcloth soaked in hot water and lie in bed covered in blanket to be believable that I was running a fever. 

I mentioned in my previous posts that I was planning to run away from home so in order to have enough money for my getaway, I asked Nanay if I could raise a piglet and sell it when it’s big enough. I promised her that I will save my earnings in the bank and she agreed. Though quite difficult, I took very good care of it for 6 months until it was ready to be sold. I placed a rope around his neck, not too tight so it could breathe freely. I held on the rope so that both the pig and I walked side by side like inseparable lovers to the slaughterhouse in Marbel, South Cotabato. It took us about an hour to arrive at our destination. He was weighed and after the butcher gave me the corresponding payment, I returned home beaming because I could now reach Davao City if I wanted. I salivated thinking of all the durian I could possibly eat hahahah . . .

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your reactions/comments via Messenger. I appreciate them very much! You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

Thank You Tatay!

They say we are the last batch of children who listened to their parents and the first batch of parents who listened to their children. 

Times have changed, yes, and if children of today’s generation go through what we went through, our prison cells will probably be filled with “abusive” parents.

There was only 1 rule in our home and that was to obey Tatay, no matter what. Simple, isn’t it? Nobody is allowed to question his authority. What he says, goes. If you make a mistake, you are severely punished. Physically. There was no dialogue between parent and child because children’s opinions didn’t matter during our time. My father always shouts, even when he’s not mad. More often than not, he loses his temper in a flash. 

But after everything else is said and done, I thank God for my father who molded me for what I am now. Thanks to him, my heart could endure any setback in life. 

THANK YOU TATAY:

1.  for teaching me what’s right and wrong

2.  for preparing me to be ready for anything and everything

3.  for coaching me about life’s Ups and Downs

4.  for taking care of me through thick and thin

5.  for standing by me no matter what

6.  for not giving up on me

7.  for forgiving me of my wrongdoings and shortcomings

8.  for always praying for me and my kids

9.  for loving me Inspite of and Despite of

10. for accepting me for what I am and for what I am NOT.

I love you, Tatay!  Hope you are now having the time of your life in heaven.

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your reactions/comments via Messenger. I appreciate them very much. You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

Choose Your Battles

Parenting is hard enough. Solo parenting makes it at least twice as hard.

They say taking care of a child with special needs is equivalent to taking care of 10 children in terms of time, money, and effort.

So what does it take for a solo parent to take care of a son with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and a daughter with Down Syndrome? And what if the daughter has acquired bipolar disorder when she turned 16? (I thank God that when this happened, her brother and I were already the best of friends from being the worst of enemies.) 

How do you keep your sanity in check given this absurd situation? 

Seek help because you only have one body. You cannot be in various places at the same time.  So you need to multiply yourself. By all means delegate. Then delegate more until the tasks left for you to do are the ones only you and no one else could do.

Go digital to save time. Pay your bills online (I was already doing this long before the pandemic erupted). Buy online if they are available online.

Take very good care of yourself. Set time to breathe, unwind, exercise, rest, eat, meditate, contemplate. For how can you take care of the people you love if you’re sick in bed?

Whenever you go out, plan everything ahead to maximize productivity and minimize cost. Make a meticulously detailed list so you don’t miss out on anything. Put your Time and Motion Study skills in action.

Do not keep your calendar. Put it where you can easily see it. With virtual meetings left and right, you’re most likely to forget if you don’t see your schedule facing you.

When dealing with “monster” kids, choose your battles. You don’t have to fight with your child everytime he pushes the wrong buttons. As long as he doesn’t cross the bounds of morality, hold your guard and let your child enjoy his victory. I remember one time in National Book Store when Gio was only 4, he wanted the very expensive Blue’s Clues book. It was a very small book and yet the price was ridiculously high. Naturally, I denied his plea. Without any warning Gio lied on the floor kicking his legs, crying and shouting for me to buy the book. I asked him to stand up first and be silent before we negotiate. It took ages before he complied. When he did, I told him that if he could promise me he will no longer ask for a book or any toy during Christmas, then I will buy the Blue’s Clues book for him. I was confident he wouldn’t agree to my condition but to my surprise he did heheheh . . . So I bought him the book. Because of this, he lost the opportunity to wish for a book or toy during Christmas. But he didn’t mind. He was contentedly happy with his Blue’s Clues book. And just yesterday, he showed me the book while he was tidying his room. His face was still as bright as the first time he got hold of his cherished possession 20 years ago. Priceless.

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

“Why do You Allow Your Husband to Cheat on You?”

 “Why do you allow your husband to cheat on you?” One of my EX’s younger mistresses threw me this question when I was talking with her over the phone in preparation for her application to Haven, the National Center for Women in Alabang, Muntinlupa. I swear I could have jumped on her and wring her neck if we were talking face to face. With gritted teeth I told her “sino ba namang babae ang papayag na mangaliwa ang asawa nya? Eh ikaw. Bakit ka pumapatol sa may asawa? Kung walang babaeng papatol sa may asawa, walang lalakeng mangangaliwa.” (No wife would want her husband to cheat on her. How about you? Why would you have sex with a married man? If no woman would fall for a married man then no husband would cheat on his wife.”) I continued saying “honestly, I would love to crucify you and your lover but doing so will harm the baby in your womb. I don’t want that to happen. Also, I will suffer in jail if I commit this heinous crime. Why would I waste my precious life for people like you?”

During the course of our conversation I learned that she was molested by her uncle when she was 15 so I related her story to the social worker who took my call.  Haven only accepted women who were abused so her case was included for consideration. We were then scheduled for the interview.

At the interview, I explained to the social worker that one of my staff was impregnated by her boyfriend. I was responsible for her well-being since she’s living in the lodging quarters for our workers. The interviewer asked if marriage between my staff and her boyfriend was possible. With my EX beside me and Gio sitting on his lap (I was then 5 months pregnant with Eia), I answered him that marriage would be impossible because my staff’s boyfriend was already married. With that revelation, the social worker handed me the application and I filled it up.

After 3 weeks, the time has come for me to bring my EX’s girlfriend to Haven. I called her up to be ready for departure. She bluntly told me that she changed her mind. She won’t be entering Haven anymore. I asked her why and she blurted out that she’s just gonna be bored there. I described to her that Haven is a heavenly place and there are lots of activities one can do inside the premises like gardening, sewing, handicrafts, cooking and baking. She still said NO, and that was the last time I talked with her. She vanished after that. Her friends told me that she eloped with her “legal” boyfriend.

Wherever she is now, I pray that she has learned from her past mistake and is now living decently. I wish her joy and happiness.

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. You may also e-mail me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!

The Call to Holiness

Every Catholic is called to holiness. Nobody is born a saint but anybody can become one, even ordinary human beings like YOU and ME. During All Saints Day, we are reminded of this calling. This is the day we honor ALL saints, whether known or unknown, whether dead or still alive. 

If you have been struggling to be holy, you’re not alone. My own journey to holiness has been challenging, to say the least. But if we try to modify our behavior just a little more pleasant everyday then we are on the right track.

Like instead of cursing the irresponsible driver who suddenly cuts your lane to be struck twice by lightning, you give him your sincere blessings. Or when you want to strangle your rebellious teenager son/daughter, you take deep breaths while counting 1 to 1000 and negotiate without heating steam. Or when your cousin disappears from the face of the earth on the day that he promised to settle his debt, you try to put yourself in his shoes and understand his situation. Or when the fish vendor claims that you haven’t paid her yet, you stay calm and pay her again so as to prevent a bloody brawl in Zapote market. Or when you discover that your husband impregnates one of his younger mistresses, you don’t stab the woman repeatedly in the chest nor force her to have an abortion but instead, accompany her to “Haven”, the National Center for Women in Alabang, Muntinlupa for her to be properly cared for.

Ironically, I have Non-Catholic friends who are “holier” than me (with my war-freak personality, this is not surprising at all). Some are even atheists but they practice “holiness” in their day-to-day activities. So I guess being holy is a choice an individual makes, not because of an organized religion or the lack of it. 

(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)