Parenting is hard enough. Solo parenting makes it at least twice as hard.
They say taking care of a child with special needs is equivalent to taking care of 10 children in terms of time, money, and effort.
So what does it take for a solo parent to take care of a son with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and a daughter with Down Syndrome? And what if the daughter has acquired bipolar disorder when she turned 16? (I thank God that when this happened, her brother and I were already the best of friends from being the worst of enemies.)
How do you keep your sanity in check given this absurd situation?
Seek help because you only have one body. You cannot be in various places at the same time. So you need to multiply yourself. By all means delegate. Then delegate more until the tasks left for you to do are the ones only you and no one else could do.
Go digital to save time. Pay your bills online (I was already doing this long before the pandemic erupted). Buy online if they are available online.
Take very good care of yourself. Set time to breathe, unwind, exercise, rest, eat, meditate, contemplate. For how can you take care of the people you love if you’re sick in bed?
Whenever you go out, plan everything ahead to maximize productivity and minimize cost. Make a meticulously detailed list so you don’t miss out on anything. Put your Time and Motion Study skills in action.
Do not keep your calendar. Put it where you can easily see it. With virtual meetings left and right, you’re most likely to forget if you don’t see your schedule facing you.
When dealing with “monster” kids, choose your battles. You don’t have to fight with your child everytime he pushes the wrong buttons. As long as he doesn’t cross the bounds of morality, hold your guard and let your child enjoy his victory. I remember one time in National Book Store when Gio was only 4, he wanted the very expensive Blue’s Clues book. It was a very small book and yet the price was ridiculously high. Naturally, I denied his plea. Without any warning Gio lied on the floor kicking his legs, crying and shouting for me to buy the book. I asked him to stand up first and be silent before we negotiate. It took ages before he complied. When he did, I told him that if he could promise me he will no longer ask for a book or any toy during Christmas, then I will buy the Blue’s Clues book for him. I was confident he wouldn’t agree to my condition but to my surprise he did heheheh . . . So I bought him the book. Because of this, he lost the opportunity to wish for a book or toy during Christmas. But he didn’t mind. He was contentedly happy with his Blue’s Clues book. And just yesterday, he showed me the book while he was tidying his room. His face was still as bright as the first time he got hold of his cherished possession 20 years ago. Priceless.
(Thanks for dropping by my blog and sending your comments/reactions via Messenger. You may also email me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)
