According to Jordan Cooper: “If you’re over 65 and can still remember these 12 life events, your mind is in remarkable shape.”
We have tackled the 4 life events in previous posts. We are now in #5: A DIFFICULT GOODBYE
“We don’t love these memories but we keep them. If you can recall the chair you sat in, who held your hand, what the doctor said, or the exact way the room smelled, it means your mind preserved the feelings and the facts. That’s emotional granularity—being able to name experiences precisely. It’s protective, not punishing. And yes, being able to talk about it without getting lost is a strong sign of cognitive resilience.”
November 4, 2012 @ 9:00 AM: We were sitting at our bar stools when Tatay’s geriatrician calmly announced :“Be ready for the inevitable. Expect Tatay to be gone anytime today. Do your best to make his remaining hours comfortable and happy.” Nanay, Ate Ella and I held each other’s hands while trying to hold back our tears. My immediate reaction was: “Nanay, please do not argue with Tatay anymore. For once, just agree with him OK?”
I hurriedly called Ate Mel (my ‘adopted’ sister) in Pampanga to go to Las Piñas right away. Then I called Tatay’s remaining sisters—Ate Deliang in Sta. Cecilia Village and Ate Bella in Naic, Cavite. Next, his cousins, nephews and nieces close to him living near and far. Then his friends within Philamlife Village and in other subdivisions.
From 10:00 AM until 7:00 PM Tatay was visited by his friends and relatives close to him. Luckily, they came in batches and not at the same time. For a while, I desperately hoped that Dra. Joy made the wrong prognosis. My father was welcoming his visitors with heightened vigor and enthusiasm. He was even telling anecdotes and laughing with them! When my cousin Dennis came and introduced his girlfriend who has a twin sister, Tatay jokingly said “it’s good you don’t make the mistake of choosing the wrong girlfriend.”
The last to arrive was the Special Minister of the Eucharist who gave my father Holy Communion. When he left, I fed Tatay his dinner. That’s when he told me that his only remaining wish was for me to be beside him when he finally breathe his last. I assured him that I would certainly make his dream come true. Then I asked him if we could still leave and attend the 8:30 PM Sunday Mass. He urged us to go so we could pray for him.
Thank God we returned home just in time to exchange our heartbreaking goodbyes.
To be continued . . .
