Tricky. I can almost hear you say “what in God’s name is the difference?”
I know, I know. For a person truly in love, you feel in your bones that your “knight in shining armour” is the right person for you.
But is he—really?
You look at him and you see Miguel Rodriguez in the flesh. After just a month of marriage, you realize that indeed, Miguel Rodriguez is already dead and long gone!
FLASHBACK: My EX and I parked in front of Star City where we could see the roller coaster ride (it was my dream before to ride the roller coaster with the man of my dreams). Amid the screams of the people enjoying the ride of their lives, he asked me a very thought-provoking question: “What do I have to do to prove my love for you?” It took me a while to answer his serious question. After thinking about it for almost 60 seconds, I told him “you only have to do 3 things for me: always make me laugh, never hurt me, and love me faithfully at all times”. (I translated that in English for the benefit of our Non-Filipino readers but In our native tongue I told him “lagi mo akong patatawanin, hindi mo ako sasaktan, at mamahalin mo ako ng tapat.” ) Clasping his fingers in mine, he promised that he would do all those deeds for me. With Joey Albert’s song “Iisa pa Lamang” being played over the radio, I was mersmerized and believed him with all my heart, body, mind, and spirit.
While most people set minimum standards for their ideal husband or wife, I had none. Maybe because at 25, I had already made a vow to remain single for the rest of my life (I actually wanted to be a nun but was instantly rejected at the convent’s doorstep but that’s of course another story hahahah . . . ) Anyway, my type of man was not the conventional one. My love for him must be strong enough to defy this world’s expectations. Someone I will love not because of what he has or what he is but because of what I become when I’m with him. Someone whose presence alone will put a genuine smile on my face and lift the burdens I carry.
How about you? Would you choose the person you love or the one who’s right for you?
But how exactly do you know if that person is the right one for you? Do you keep a checklist of what your future husband or wife should at least have? If so, what do you consider as a passing mark? Is your list similar to like this?
1. He should have a stable job or a thriving business that can support a family of 10 and will survive any pandemic that will hit the country.
2. He doesn’t have to be drop dead gorgeous like Richard Gere but presentable enough for public exposure.
3. Physically strong, healthy, and sexy.
4. No family history of any Critical Illness.
5. Sweet talker and have a great sense of humor.
6. Demonstrative of his romantic affections.
7. Shares at least one of your passions, support your hobbies and tolerate your idiosyncrasies.
8. Amiable to your family and friends earning him their elusive stamp of approval.
9. Generous with gifts, not only with you but to your dearest family as well.
10. Doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t gamble, doesn’t engage in one-night stands.
11. Willing to cooperate with household chores including babysitting.
12. Prayerful.
And the list continues . . .
Would you still say YES to the person even if his score is only 20% based from your criteria? A number of you would tell me “I know where my heart is and it’s below my head”, mimicking Eddie Garcia when he left Gloria Diaz on their wedding day. Others would say “ love conquers all. Love should be unconditional and unselfish. The measure of love is to love without measure.” And so on and so forth.
I married my EX because I loved him. He, on the other hand, married me because he speculated that I was the right woman for him. It would have been great to marry someome you love, but it would have been better if you loved the one you married. He should have made the commitment to love me right after he said “I do” at the altar.
Loving someone and being loved in return is an exhilarating experience. Not everyone is blessed to encounter that in this lifetime (like Park Bo-gum and Song Hye-kyo heheheh . . .) But when you do, hold on to it and never let go.
(Thanks for dropping by my blog! Feel free to send your comments and reactions via Messenger or e-mail to ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)
