Happines Vs. Wellness (A Tale of Two Mothers)

My friend’s diabetic mother was advised by her doctor to stop drinking regular Coke and replace it with Coke Zero to abort further complications and eventually prolong her life. Upon entering their house coming from the clinic, the mother opened their refrigerator and looked for Coke. Not finding any, she asked the servant to buy Coke from the nearby store. Her children specifically gave instruction to the helper that she buys Coke Zero. The mother fumingly protested. The children stubbornly contested. Then the mother warned her children: “How can I live longer if I die now?  If you don’t give me regular Coke now, I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die hating you all. And if ever I die drinking regular Coke, at least I will die very happy.” If you were in her children’s shoes, what would have you done? What do you think is the ending of this story?

At the opposite end of the spectrum is my dearest mother, who is the epitome of wellness. When people asks her “do you have any maintenance?” She answers “I am not a vehicle. I don’t need maintenanjce.” At 87, Nanay weighs 110 lbs. with almost 0% Body Fat. She is the only person I know who is not happy eating delicious food. Her taste buds couldn’t differentiate savory from bland. From time immemorial, she eats just to live, inorder for her body to perform its daily tasks. She dreams that a scientist could invent an injection that would fulfill the nutritional requirements of her body so she doesn’t need to eat anymore for the rest of her life. Eating for her is a dreadful chore. While we drool over different types of food on the table, Nanay actually loses the very small appetite that she has when she sees varieties of food in front of her. Nanay doesn’t swallow veggies, meat, and fruits. She just chews them, extract the “juice” and leave the leftover pulp on her plate. Having dessert after lunch or dinner has always been a puzzle to her. She couldn’t understand how people could still eat when they are already full. I tell her “mader, the word “dessert” appears in the dictionary for a reason. And it’s for us to enjoy this simple pleasure. People who know her swears that a bird even eats more than her hahahah . . . Note however that during her prime, Nanay enjoyed competitive sports. She used to win tournaments in tennis, golf, and bowling. She was a very strong woman and still strong at 87. She walks every morning in front of our house and lifts dumbbells from time to time. When people asks her the secret to her longevity, she would answer without batting any eyelash: “enough food, enough sleep, enough exercise, enough stress, and enough money that will last after I’m gone.”

How about you? Would you sacrifice wellness over your happiness?

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How Do You Become “Yourself”?

“ Be yourself”. We hear this often from motivational writers and speakers. Whenever I come across this cliche, I couldn’t help but imagine the repercussions the world has to endure if everybody would simply throw caution to the wind and just “be himself”.

Then my mind would wander off and start forming weird visions that would actually make me laugh. Like if I choose to be myself, I would be listening to my favorite songs while enjoying my bubble bath instead of calling prospects for appointments, eat sweets to my heart’s content, drink beer everyday, go out in faded maong shorts and cropped tank top instead of the presentable business attire, sleep in the nude, stroll along the beach from sunrise to sunset, listen rather than talk, scream when I reach my boiling point, dare to have a one-night stand hahahah . . .

Let’s face it. To uphold order in this chaotic world, one cannot just “be himself” in its truest sense.  Every action that we take carries a great responsibility attached to it. One can never be free to do what he wants.  

So how exactly can you “be yourself”?

Love yourself first. Forgive yourself of your past mistakes, try to learn from them and trust that the best is yet to come. Instead of comparing yourself with others, compare your past self with your present self. Then believe in your heart and mind that you can still be better. But faith requires action. Do not just believe. Do it. Do it now. Show the world what you’re really made of. Not to satisfy people’s expectations of you but because you owe it to yourself to be the better version of what you are now. Whether you believe in God or not, there must be a reason why you are still alive today. It is for a uniqe purpose that only you can fulfill. A purpose you can call your very own because there’s no one else in this world quite like you.

Claim it now.

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The Wind Beneath My Wings

 1999 was the year I felt the world crushed on me. At 41, I gave birth to a daughter with Down Syndrome and I was at a complete loss how to deal with this painful reality.

It was then that Ate Ella came to the rescue. Coming from Sacramento, Californina, she was the angel who lived with us and showered her unconditional love and deep affection not only to Eia but to every member of our household.

I pay tribute to this amazing person who was instrumental for molding Eia to be what she is today. From barely 2 months old and onwards, Eia’s Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy were performed at the UP CAMP CTS (UP College of Allied Medical Profession Clinic for Therapy Services) only once a week. With our combined efforts, Ate Ella and I complied with the Home Therapy Program every single day of the year. As a result, Eia’s physical and speech development were almost at par with any normal child—even superior at times.

Ate Ella is a midwife by profession but is also an honest-to-goodness Gourmet Chef, authentic plantita, florist, vegetable grower, caregiver, tutor, counselor, CheerLeader, tennis player, Scrabble genius, linguist (she can speak German, Ilonggo, Cebuano, Ilocano, Maranaw, etc.) and Charismatic Servant Leader.

Contrary to everybody’s expectation, we are not related by blood but our bond is thicker than any type or form. She has been my sister, aunt, mother, kumare, friend and no. 1 Fan —all rolled into one. 

She was more than shocked and almost fainted when I told her I needed her to accompany me to flee from my EX. Gio was only 4 yrs. & 8 months old then, and Eia—2 &1/2 years old. I couldn’t possibly take care of 2 children on my own, running from Las Piñas all the way to Cebu. Thank God for Ate Ella who stood by me through and through. After that Greatest Escape, she courageously took the stand as 1 of my 3 witnesses in the agonizing trial proceeding of my Petition for Marriage Annulment.

I could write a whole book of our escapades, hurdles, and adventures together but for now, this short blogpost has to suffice.

Thank you Ate Ella for choosing to live with us for the past 22 years.  Letting go of you will totally break our hearts but it’s about time that you return to the States so you could also take care of Kuya Pedring and your grandchildren.  For your 76th birthday, we wish that you can be finally reunited with your family whom you dearly miss.

Happy happy birthday Ate Ella! Thank you for being the Wind Beneath My Wings. We love you, now and forever!

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A Tribute to my Friends and “Enemies” (Part 10)

THE DE JESUS SIBLINGS AND PETER CHILE KUAN

In my Sophomore year, I was very fortunate to stay with Kuya Ato, Ate Baby, Abet, Jojo and his friend Peter in an apartment along T. Morato, Quezon City. Over the weekend, Vic, Detdet and Ondet would occasionally join us from UP Los Baños. I thank God for the de Jesus Siblings from Marbel who regarded me and Peter as part of their huge jolly family. We had so much fun playing pusoy, Russian poker, spades, unggoy-unggoy, Black Jack, etc. We had a pingpong table right outside our door and they were patient enough to teach me how to play. Whenever we feel stressed and wanted to take a break from our homeworks and exam reviews, we sweat it out at the pingpong table. During Sundays, Christ the King church was just a stone throw away from us so we attend mass there.

Ate Baby was like a big sister to me. I completely lost my voice before I turned 18 but thankfully, I did not need to go to a clinic or hospital because Ate Baby’s boyfriend (now husband) Dr. Palafox attended to me—for free! (I missed my debut celebration because of acute pharyngitis /laryngitis but had a 60th birthday bash. Better late than never hahahah . . . )

Jojo and Peter were my commuting buddies going to UP Diliman. Buses no longer stop at Morato Station because they could no longer accommodate additional passengers. The 3 of us would normally run and sprint after the moving bus, hoping that the traffic light changes from green to red. Most of the time, only one of my feet could step on the bus and my other foot hanging in the air outside. The driver would shout “papasukin ninyo ang babae sa loob! (Let the girl enter the bus!) Jojo and Peter would always help me squeeze myself inside the cramped bus where I could hardly breathe but safer than having 1 leg outside the bus!

Oftentimes, I would watch movies together with Jojo and Peter. Sadly, Jojo de Jesus left this world ahead of his time and my heart still ache whenever I think of him. Peter, however, is celebrating his 62nd birthday today. Happy happy bday Dong! Thanks for being my true friend from our Morato days until now. God bless you and your lovely family and all your future undertakings. C-H-E-E-R-S!!!

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Ang Makulay na Daigdig ni Nora (My Colorful Life: Part 4)

 18. Today is the 40th birthday of my tennis idol, Roger Federer.  Happy happy bday Rog! 

Together with my dear friend Elsa, we crossed 1,149 miles to see Roger Federer in person. She accompanied me to Shanghai though she didn’t know a thing about tennis. So while the match was being played, I was explaining to her what was going on! I love you Elsz.  Inspite of the hardship you encountered while procuring your Visa, you pushed on. Thank you so much Elsz for making my dream come true. Special thanks too, to Helen for taking very good care of us during our stay in Shanghai. No words can do justice to describe your thoughtfulness, kindness, and generosity.

19. I was a die-hard fan of Guy and Pip from 1969 to 1973. They were only guest stars in the film Banda 24 but I loved them so much that I watched the movie over and over again in Marbel (now Koronadal), followed it to Dadiangas (now GenSan), all the way to Davao City and Cagayan de Oro. I saved money to buy their photos and made albums of them. In the parade of stars during the Manila Film Festival in the 70’s, we walked beside their float from Ospital ng Maynila to Cinerama Theater!  The float was proceeding at a very slow pace because of the massive number of people who wanted to shake the hands of Guy and Pip. We started after breakfast and arrived at Cinerama past lunchtime. 

20. When Barry Manilow came to rock Manila in 1992, I was fortunate that Nanay bought VIP tickets for us three. I enjoyed the show so much that I wanted to watch it again. I was about to buy my plane ticket to Cebu to watch him there when they announced that he will hold a Repeat Performance in Manila before leaving the country. It so happened that my friend Cherry was also a fan of Barry Manilow! So we went together to Ultra to join his farewell concert. Though I’ve seen him twice, I still couldn’t get enough of Barry Manilow. 

To be continued . . .

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MY FAVORITES (Part 2)

 6. Fruits are always part of our dining table. My favorite fruit of all time is durian. During one stopover along the beach in Davao City, I finished 3 whole durians in one sitting! When I received my first salary in 1980, I almost spent it all for durian that I bought at San Andres Market.

7. I am generally fond of vegetables except for squash. My favorite is ampalaya (bitter gourd) sauteed in pinakbet (mixed veggies in fish or shrimp sauce).

8. Before we got married, my Prince Charming “encouraged” me to quit drinking and I did. I no longer drink heavily as before but when I do, 1 bottle of SanMig Zero is good enough for me.

9. Since 2016, I refrained from eating rice during meals but when I eat sweet mango, I always eat it with 1-2 spoons of rice.

10. Like Jaymie the BullRunner, my favorite chocolate is Choc Nut. 

11. My favorite partners with Coke are balut, sweet sampaloc, green mango with spicy bagoong, pork isaw, turon, banana cue, grilled beef/pork/chicken.

12. My favorite partners with hot chocolate drink are grilled ensaymada, apple pie and mango crepe.

13. Chicharon Bulaklak is my favorite pulutan.

14. My dream breakfast consists of: fresh mango juice, fresh guava juice, crispy bacon, spanish omelette, hash brown, hot chocolate, assorted fruits in syrup, mango crepe with whipped cream.

15. My dream dinner consists of: caesar salad with calamari, steak, grilled prawns in mango sauce, blueberry cheesecake

To be continued . . .

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Ang Makulay na Daigdig ni Nora (My Colorful Life: Part 3)

12. Brewed coffee serves as melatonin for me. So instead of drinking coffee in the morning to boost my day, I take it at night to sleep right away. On very rare occasions that I crave for coffee, I have to simultaneously drink it with iced tea for me to stay awake or suffer the dreadful consequence. In one of our seminars at Max’s, I couldn’t resist the aroma of freshly brewed coffee so I drank 1 cup. You can just imagine how startled I was when they woke me up after the last speaker!

13. I used to drink heavily before without getting drunk, they nicknamed me “embudo” (funnel). My favorite was Johnnie Walker Black Label Scotch Whisky. One tine, we opened a 1L bottle after dinner. Before the roosters could crow at the break of dawn, my drinking buddy fell drunk on the floor so I was the one who finished his share until the bottle was completely empty. He was so ashamed he warned me not to squeal that he actually passed out during our drinking spree (hope he’s not reading this post hahahah . . .).

14. My idols were Wang Yu, Guy and Pip, Bruce Lee, Richard Gere, Pierce Brosnan, Bruce Willis, Jude Law.

15. I was only 9 when I first fell in love with my classmate in Grade 3 who was a transferee from Iloilo. Ironically, I only got married at 39!

16. My Ex-Prince Charming was 12 years younger than me.  Yup, I was a certified cradle snatcher! He didn’t believe me at first. He thought I was only joking when I told him my date of birth. I swear he was beyond shocked when he saw what I wrote on our Marriage Certificate form! I had a feeling then that he wanted to call the wedding off.

17. At 29, I excitedly knocked at the door of a convent and expressed my desire to be a nun. Without even letting me in, I was interviewed right then and there. After answering some basic questions, I was outrightly rejected when they learned I was an only child. The door was slammed at my bewildered face before I could even protest. Sigh.

To be continued . . .

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