Culture Shock! (Musings of a Certified PROMDI: Part 3)

Back in Marbel, I never missed watching movies every Sunday. I have been a movie addict for as long as I could remember. I was privileged to own a permanent pass (my face actually hahaha . . . ) to enter the theatre because we were close friends with the Yap family who owned 2 moviehouses in my hometown. In Manila however, I found it hard to adjust because not only that I had to pay for my ticket, but the fact that I was only watching 1 movie per screening disappointed me. Ever since I was small, I was watching 2 movies at a time for free! Movies were always shown back-to-back in Marbel except for the 1965 classic “The Sound of Music” which ran for almost 3 hours.

I never had the chance to enjoy parties in Marbel. When we were in 2nd year high school, I was excited to attend our acquaintance party in one of our teachers’ house. But when I just had my plate filled with food, I didn’t even get to have one bite because my loving parents were already outside the gate fetching me! I went home hungry and frustrated for I missed my only chance to dance with my Crush. In Manila, I got the shock of my life because parties start late dinner and end with early breakfast the following day! Tatay instructed our Dorm administrator that I was restricted to attend parties but Nanay secretly gave the permission that I could go heheheh . . .

We never had field trips in Marbel. Though I had the chance to go to different towns when competing in declamation contests, I never travelled with the whole class. So Field Trips were a whole new experience for me. I enjoyed exploring different places with my new classmates in UE High Sch. who surprisingly turned out cool after all. The coolest were my 2 PROMDI friends like me—Belen from Malvar, Batangas and Delia from Botolan, Zambales. These 2 amazing girls made my 3rd and 4th yr. High Sch. life truly memorable. How I wish I could see them again someday!

To be continued . . .

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WHEN PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE, BE READY TO BE AMAZED!

Eia was about 7-8 months old when her Pedia Cardiologist announced that we should schedule an open heart surgery for her before she reaches 1 year old. Otherwise, she won’t probably be able to live and celebrate her 1st birthday. He further explained that Eia had 2 holes in her heart that would definitely not close naturally, an enlarged left ventricle, and blocked artery. 

I thought giving birth to a child with Down Syndrome was the hardest blow I could possibly receive in this lifetime. This was worse. My mind went into a blur and I had to close my eyes because I could feel the world spinning around me. This was twice the anxiety and pain I felt before when I learned that Eia had Trisomy 21 (genetic disorder caused by a third copy of the 21st Chromosome). The doctor then advised us to bring Eia before her 10th month for her 2D Echo and to finalize the date of her operation.

“There is no way I will agree for Eia to have an open heart surgery Lord. Heal her or take her.” That was my bold declaration to God everytime I prayed inside the Perpetual Adoration Chapel. “Show me the way, Lord. The way to heal Eia to avoid this operation or take her life now.” When I said these prayers, I truly believed God will grant me a miracle.

While praying incessantly, Ate Ella and I brought Eia to various healing masses within Las Piñas City. Cyndy, the sister of my friend Agnes, tried texting Eia’s name to the radio station where they pray over the sick for healing. By God’s grace, Eia’s name was picked among the thousands of names that were sent!

When Fr. Corsie Legaspi scheduled his healing mass at St. Joseph the Worker Parish, we were there before 8am to be the first to be healed. To our surprise, it was announced on stage that only the first 100 will be prayed over individually. The rest will be in groups of 10, clasping hands together. And to our double surprise, even if we arrived early, we couldn’t be included in the first 100. These slots were reserved for terminally-ill cancer patients. We were further surprised when the announcer asked forgiveness from the parents of children. He apologised that children will only be allowed to follow the queue after the last set of adults were done. He thoughtfully explained that children were the last priority because according to him, they would go straight to heaven and become angels if ever they leave this world.

“And that was supposed to make us feel better?” I thought to myself. I disagreed with their rules but had no choice but to obey. Believe it or not, Eia finally had her turn @5pm later that day! I was holding Eia while Ate Ella was holding her other hand. I was also holding the hand of the person beside me. My tiredness and all other negative emotions escaped from me when Fr. Corsie Legaspi prayed over our group. I felt peace and stillness of heart. I was in a trance for a few seconds but did not let go of Eia. 

As advised, we brought Eia back to her Pedia Cardiologist before she turned 10 months old. As he was reading the monitor while conducting a 2D Echo on Eia, he was frowning and shaking his head while mumbling something that only he could hear. I asked him what was wrong and his answer froze my heart.

“Nagsara na ang dalawang butas. Normal na ang left ventricle. Wala ng bara sa artery.” (The 2 holes closed. The left ventricle is now normal in size. The artery is no longer blocked.)

I was holding my breath but managed to ask “So what are you saying Doc?”

“She doesn’t need an open heart surgery anymore,” he confessed.

I heaved a deep sigh of relief and wanted to give the doctor a very tight hug but decided to back off because he seemed perplexed, not understanding how in the world the impossible happened. We bid him goodbye and judging by the puzzled look on his face, he did not have the slightest clue how Eia’s heart healed on its own. 

Praise God Eia is now 22! Thank you Lord! Special thanks to Cyndy and to everybody who prayed for this miracle and of course to Ate Ella who was always by my side. I am forever grateful!

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WHEN YOU REACH THE END OF YOUR ROPE, HOLD ON TO YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

22 years ago, I gave birth to a daughter with Down Syndrome.

6 years ago, it seemed like I gave birth to 10 children more who was either 1) aggressive 2) depressive 3) overtalkative 4) withdrawn 5) bubbly 6) sulky 7) clingy 8) aloof 9) hostile and 10) violent.

Eia was the sweetest person on earth before she suffered the painful “breakup” with her best friend. She was never been the same after that traumatic experience in her life. Gio would wonder when are we going to have a normal life in our household and I told him “You and I were the worst of enemies for 10 years. So this scenario will probably last for at least 10 years. Thank God this only happened now. I would have gone insane if I were battling with you and Eia at the same time.” Gio would then try to pacify me by saying that it won’t probably take 10 years for Eia to go back to being “normal”.

Initially, no medication worked for Eia. She was prescribed 3 types of ANTIPSYCHOTIC drugs but she continued exhibiting unpredictable behavior. I was at a loss. A psychiatrist and clinical psychologist were simultaneously taking care of her but there was no change in her behavior at home. Strange but she enjoyed talking with her psychiatrist and psychotherapist.

When I believed that we were all doing our best and exhausted all possible means for Eia but she remained the same—in fact getting worse, I surrendered everything to God. Following the “Let go and let God” principle, it did not matter anymore whether Eia will revert to her old self or not. I would accept her for what she is and wouldn’t try to change her anymore. I would love her as she is, with all her tantrums and whatever “episode” she’s having. I would love everything about her and will not expect her anymore to love me the way she loved me before.

When I faced the problem head on without any fear of what the future held, that’s the time Eia slowly went into metamorphosis. Her “episodes” became fewer and shorter. When I finally embraced the reality that I was actually dealing with 10 daughters and swore to love each one of them dearly, that’s when positive changes miraculously started to emerge. 

As of this writing, Eia is taking only 1/4 of 1 tablet out of the 3 tablets she was taking before. Everyday is still a new adventure with Eia but praise God her “episodes” are now reduced to 1-3 times daily. We could now laugh at how we drastically changed our drinking glasses to stainless steel because Eia broke the glass cover of our dining table after hitting it with her glass when she went berserk.

Eia is truly God’s gift to me. Her pediatric cardiologist even predicted that she won’t live the day to celebrate her 1st birthday (that is of course another story) without an open heart surgery but by God’s grace, she is now 22. Thank you Lord!

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Culture Shock! (Musings of a Certified PROMDI: Part 2)

Continuing my story from Part 1, I tried my best adapting to my new environment. To lessen my stress, Nanay chose Holy Spirit Dorm because it was just a stone throw away from UE. More importantly, 4 of my 5 room mates were from Marbel and nearby towns. The administrator in Holy Spirit Dorm was hesitant at first to accept me because I was only 15 and just in Junior High. All the other boarders were College students. She was afraid I would be rowdy and undisciplined. But Nanay promised her that one unruly behavior I make, she will pull me out from the dorm. Thank God I had amazing room mates who made my life easier and happier during my first 2 years in Manila. 

One of my shocking experiences as a newbie in Manila was witnessing with my virgin eyes a male exhibitionist doing his ritual right in front of our dorm! That was his favorite spot. And because he was there often, everybody was already used to his presence. Well, everybody except me. I couldn’t believe that such kind of behavior existed in society and people would just brush their shoulders off as if it was just a normal thing to do.

Back in Marbel, my classmates and I enjoyed playing more than studying. I used to go to school with a skipping rope in my bag instead of books heheheh . . . We just loved to play whenever we had the chance. My friends and I were normally the last to leave the campus because we couldn’t get tired of playing. I really missed that. In UE, we had to go home @1pm because the Afternoon session students will be occupying the rooms. After dismissal, we automatically went our separate ways. My classmates were in a hurry to go home because they still had to commute and it was past lunchtime already. Sad. (Incidentally, Christopher de Leon was also a UE student. When his first film “Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang” was shown in 1974, the whole UE population probably supported his movie. I was so proud I was breathing the same air with him when he won the Famas Best Actor award in his very first appearance.)

I got another shock of my life after our teacher graded our first quiz. I didn’t know that it was common practice in UE to distribute the exam results one by one in class from highest to lowest. I then realized that my new classmates were very competitive with grades. If I didn’t get a perfect score, I wouldn’t be the highest in the Quiz or Exam. So I had to devote more of my time in studying. I hated it but had no choice. Tatay did not expect me to be the Valedictorian because I lacked the four-year residency but he trusted me to do my best. Strange how he obssessed for his only daughter to earn the Highest Honors when he himself barely passed during his time. Typical parent who wanted his frustrated dream fulfilled through his offspring.

To be continued . . .

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Culture Shock! (Musings of a Certified PROMDI: Part 1)

I dropped my original plan of running away from home simply because my dear parents decided to transfer me to Manila after my second year of high school in Marbel, South Cotabato (now Koronadal City). Call it coincidence or whatever you like but what the Spirit of the Glass revealed to me before actually came true. God really works in very mysterious ways! 

A whole new world startled me when I first set foot in UE (University of the East) High Sch. For the first time in my life I felt lost and deserted. I was surrounded by 49 classmates who were probably best buddies since they were in Kindergarten and for them, I was a nobody. I must admit I wasn’t the friendly type before. I was an introvert by nature (I still am). So I sat at the very end of the room, my back touching the wall. Everybody was busy talking to each other but I just kept quiet. I listened attentively to our teacher when class started. My father repeatedly instructed me to recite in class for me to be easily recognized and I assured him I would. So when the teacher asked the question “What is the scope of Economics?” and nobody dared to raise his hand, I mustered up the courage to ask “May I try?”  The teacher addressed the whole class that she loved students who were willing to try. I then found myself at the center of everyone’s attention. There was complete silence that I could almost hear the beating of my own heart. Everybody waited in anticipation what this Promdi (person who grew up in the province and goes to Manila) was going to say.

The moment I opened my mouth and my classmates heard me talk, I hated myself for my guts. They started laughing at me and murmuring among themselves. I realized they were mocking my Ilonggo accent, dropping comments like “Bisaya gid.” I swear to God I could have just died right then and there. The fact that I was a school declaimer for 8 consecutive years in Marbel did not help at all. My self-confidence dropped below the ground along with my pride but not my determination. I struggled to ignore the huzz and the buzz around me and pressed on. When our teacher exclaimed “VERY GOOD!” after my introductory monologue, I was lifted up to the heavens. I instantly regained the dignity I lost and stood tall and proud. My classmates were dumbfounded and though I could feel their piercing stares, nothing could break me anymore. 

On the way back to the dorm I passed by a fruit stand and asked how much was the banana. The vendor told me 30 centavos. I gave her my payment and when she gave me 1 piece of banana, I asked her why she was only giving me a single banana. Imagine the shock on my face when I learned that the price was actually 30 centavos per banana when back in Marbel, bananas were sold at 30 centavos per bunch! I tried my best not to lose my composure while the vendor was meticulously scrutinizing me from head to toe as if to verify whether I was an alien from outer space that had just landed on earth.

To be continued . . .

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Ang Makulay na Daigdig ni Nora (My Colorful Life: Part 8)

Hello! Kindly read the previous post first because Part 8 is actually an EPILOGUE for Part 7.

After 10 years, my faithful bully and I met again. Not accidentally. He purposely went to my office in Coca-Cola Makati, knelt down on his knee (literally) and asked for forgiveness. I should have forgiven him then but I wasn’t yet ready to forget those 6 years of suffering when he tormented and humiliated me.

Two years later, he visited me in CRC (Center for Research & Communication) to again ask for forgiveness. During that time I was deeply immersed in the whole new world of “holiness” so forgiving someone was as easy as breathing. I remember when he asked me out to celebrate our reconciliation and told me to decide wherever I want to go. Lucky for him I was craving for Chocolate Marshmallow Cake of Red Ribbon. We ordered 1 slice each but to my dismay, the waitress told us that it cannot be sliced but could only be bought as a whole. Imagine my joy when Buboy assured her that he will buy the whole cake but we will be eating half of it there. Cake lang pala ang katapat ng anim na taong pagdurusa ko hahahah . . .

My bully-turned-friend left the Philippines after that and worked abroad. He was already married when we met again and was residing in Pasig. He unexpectedly appeared at the doorstep of my shop and for a while, visited me every month whenever he brings his sports car for maintenance check up to his mechanic residing in Las Piñas. Since then, we became very good friends. I guess the cliche “those who are against you now may be with you tomorrow” is true. Becoming close friends with your greatest enemy is inconceivable but by God’s grace, may miraculously happen.

My piano teacher, on the other hand, realized her past mistakes and made a public apology in FB for hurting her students in Marbel. I remember my friend Mimi describing her as “ang babaeng pumatay ng pangarap nating maging piyanista”(someone who destroyed our dream of becoming a pianist). My friend Mimi is now a gastroenterologist but she pursued her dream of becoming a pianist and I am very happy that she eventually fulfilled her passion. We are now good friends with Ma’am Linda. She is in fact delighted that my only son is majoring in Piano at the College of Music, UP Diliman, where her daughter teaches indigenous instruments. Small world indeed!

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Ang Makulay na Daigdig ni Nora (My Colorful Life: Part 7)

Throughout Grade 1 to Grade 6, I was bullied by the son of our principal while his  two other best buddies took turns in making my life a living hell. To properly defend myself from my perpetrators, I pleaded with Nanay to enroll me in JUDO KARATE. But for whatever reason my stubborn mother had, she enrolled me in ballet instead. I was so freakingly mad with her that I refused to participate in class. Since she was always not around, she had no idea that I was just watching my classmates whenever I go to the Yap Residence where the class was being held. She only found out that I did not join the class before the day of the Recital. 

My mother enrolled me in piano without even asking me if I wanted to learn or not. Maybe because she was a frustrated pianist so she wanted to realize her dream through her only daughter. I probably had no qualms if only my piano teacher didn’t forcefully hit my fingers with her wooden ruler every time I make mistakes. So I fabricated excuses on days that she would come to teach. Of course I spaced out the days into intervals so they won’t appear too obvious. My alibis included stomachache, toothache, headache, colds, cough, and fever. I would estimate the time she would arrive, warming my hands, neck and forehead with a washcloth soaked in hot water and lie in bed covered in blanket to be believable that I was running a fever. 

I mentioned in my previous posts that I was planning to run away from home so in order to have enough money for my getaway, I asked Nanay if I could raise a piglet and sell it when it’s big enough. I promised her that I will save my earnings in the bank and she agreed. Though quite difficult, I took very good care of it for 6 months until it was ready to be sold. I placed a rope around his neck, not too tight so it could breathe freely. I held on the rope so that both the pig and I walked side by side like inseparable lovers to the slaughterhouse in Marbel, South Cotabato. It took us about an hour to arrive at our destination. He was weighed and after the butcher gave me the corresponding payment, I returned home beaming because I could now reach Davao City if I wanted. I salivated thinking of all the durian I could possibly eat hahahah . . .

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