A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 7)

My mother is the most positive person I’ve ever known. My father is the most negative. Opposites do attract each other right?

A particular situation may be negative from any angle possible but Nanay will naturally find something positive about it. On the other hand, even though an incident is bursting with positive energy from all sides, Tatay will deliberately extract something negative about it.

My father and mother clash on anything and everything on the planet. On one of their anniversaries (they survived 55 years of marriage), I gave them a mounted poster of a dog and a cat lovingly embracing each other with the caption “it’s because we are so different from each other that we have so much to share”. Touche.

One time, Nanay told me that Tatay visited her. I asked her if he was already inviting her to go with him to heaven. She answered “No. He just woke me up and told me to eat”. I jokingly told her “I am sure Tatay will never fetch you to go with him because he is now very happy not having you opposing him.”

While Nanay is soft-spoken, gentle and kind, my father was loud, aggressive and brutally frank.

Alzheimer’s Disease did not change Nanay’s demeanor. She never fails to express her gratitude whenever someone does something for her, however miniscule. She does not only say THANK YOU but utters “thank you, thank you, thank you.” She doesn’t grumble when she asks for anything. She doesn’t raise her voice or lose her temper. She easily says “sorry” when she thinks she did something wrong,

But one thing definitely changed. Nanay told me “I LOVE YOU” only ONCE in my entire lifetime. This was when I was about to enter the Operating Room to give birth to Gio by Caesarian Section. Nowadays, she tells me she loves me EVERYDAY, whenever I kiss her goodnight and bid her sweet dreams before I leave her room.

And when I whisper in her ears “I am Nora, your one and only daughter.” she would answer back “I am Imang Toning, your one and only mother.”

Even with Alzheimer’s, Nanay has kept her sense of humor intact!

To be continued . . .

My Love for Carbs

When it comes to Carbs, I believe that God so loved the world that He gave us Carbs to enjoy heaven on earth.

Whenever Gio takes a bite of my Sister’s home-made brownies, he would declare: “heaven does exist Mama, because I swear I am in heaven now. Thank God for your Sister!”

If God gave us Carbs because he loved us, we should also love Carbs right?

Why am I talking about Carbs now? Well, I just want to take a breather from updating the Series on our journey with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s Disease. Also because my new running buddy Jay and I were talking about Carbo Loading last night.

Carbo Loading is crucial in a training program to avoid “hitting the wall” during a Marathon or Ultramarathon. There are varying views how Carbo Loading works but these are mine:

A day before a Half-Marathon, I include 1/2 cup of rice during lunch and dinner. And additional serving of 1-2 Carbs.

2-3 days before a Full Marathon, I include 1/2 cup of rice during breakfast, lunch and dinner. I also eat an additional 1-2 servings of Carbs each day.

5-7 days before an Ultramarathon, I double my total Carbs intake everyday.

I used to wonder what Carbo Loading meant. The Carbs intake described in journals was my usual food intake. I just couldn’t get it. I couldn’t practice Carbo Loading because I was actually Carbo Loading everyday! I only realised what it exactly meant when I decisively removed rice from my diet and applied portion control in my daily servings. After adapting a healthy lifestyle, I finally got to experience Carbo Loading before a race.

Eureka!

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 6)

Today I will tell you a secret. To hide the identity of the persons involved, I will simply refer to them as A and B. 

Here goes:

Through the recommendation of a very dear friend, we consulted Dr A for Nanay’s failing memory. He prescribed a series of tests including a Psychological Exam which took Nanay 2 days to finish. Based from the overall results, Nanay was positive for Alzheimer’s but negative for Depression.

During our first consultation with Dr A, he asked me how I knew the Doctor who referred him to us. I told him she was my classmate from Grade 1 to 2nd Yr High Sch. back in Koronadal City. He was impressed that we are still friends. And I found it weird that he asked for my friend’s specialization and where she was practicing. My friend recommended him to us because they were classmates in Medical School. How come Dr A didn’t know anything about my friend? Was he having pre-Alzheimer’s symptoms?

In our next meeting, we showed him all the results of Nanay’s tests and exams. Naturally, I had so many queries that I desperately needed to know. He answered in very general terms, not specifically directed to my questions in particular. And before I could voice my apprehensions, he started babbling about his own mother having Alzheimer’s. 

When Nanay’s meds ran out, we came back for our third consultation. I planned to ask him again about the questions that he failed to address. Before I could even ask him, he poured his heart out on his dedication to his mother, making him the only one in the family who devotes time for her, insinuating that his siblings didn’t care. He had lots of bottled sentiments and fears. The way he opened up to me, I should have charged him the Consultation Fee of a Psychotherapist! I decided then and there to look for another Neurologist.

Dr B is the exact opposite of Dr A. For her, a Psychological Test was NOT necessary. Just by observing and conversing with Nanay, she automatically deduced that Nanay was going through Depression. She did not even bother to read the 3-page Psychological Assessment which Nanay took 2 days to finish!  She requested more laboratory tests/exams and we complied.

Dr B was more engaging to Nanay and she answered my questions that Dr A failed to settle. She even showed Nanay the actual exercises that she should do everyday. And she gave us activities that we could do as a family for Nanay to participate in. I was more satisfied with her than Dr A on this regard but I couldn’t fathom why she would trust her instinct over the result of a tedious and meticulous Psychological Test. Her conclusion that Nanay was in a state of Depression depressed me.

In our third Consultation, Nanay’s Cholesterol was at a normal level but she still prescribed medication for it. According to her, it is for maintenance. Now THAT bothered me. For 90 years, Nanay never took any maintenance drug. Given this and her previous presumption, I now plan to look for another Neurologist.

So the secret is out. You don’t only seek for a second opinion. Search for a third one!

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 5)

 If there is one person in the world who abhors eating, that would be my mother dearest. She is the only person I know who loses appetite in front of a table with colorful varieties of food. Her lifelong dream was for a scientist to develop a serum that would enable her to refrain from eating for 1 whole year while maintaining her strength and stamina.

So unlike her only daughter. My passion was, is, and will always be food! My stomach has the ability to expand itself to unlimited capacity when served with various sumptuous dishes.

People in Pampanga compared Nanay’s eating to a bird. They swear a bird eats more than her! Pampanga is famous for its gastronomic delicacies but Ima (Kapampangan word for mother) would rather eat alugbati (malabar spinach), saluyot (jute leaves) and labong (young bamboo shoot). 

But indeed, people change. 2-3 years ago, she told us she didn’t want to eat veggies anymore! So we gave her meat instead. However, she would just chew the meat and extract the juice, not swallowing the piece. Nowadays, she would just eat fish and Henlin siomai.

She was never fond of sweets. Eating dessert was a mystery to her.  Puzzled, she would ask “how can you still eat something after eating a meal?” I would bluntly tell her that the word dessert appears in the dictionary for a reason heheheh . . .

But surprise of all surprises, Nanay started eating a domino-like portion of Snickers after lunch just before the pandemic. She only stopped doing this around 3 months ago.

She used to eat 1/2 cup of rice but this was slowly reduced through the years. It is already a great miracle if she could finish 5 half-filled spoons of rice now. 

Nanay weighed 99 lbs when she was transferred from South Cotabato to Pampanga. She was 110 lbs when she retired. Now she weighs 85 lbs—my weight when I turned 15. I was 90 lbs when I graduated from college (average increase of 1 lb every year).  After only a month with Coca-Cola, my weight ballooned to 105 lbs! (Gaining an average of 1 lb every 2 days!)

Our greatest challenge now is how to coax Nanay to eat. She would always tell us that she is not hungry. It takes a lot of patience and persistence to convince her that it is only in her mind that she is full but in reality, she has not eaten yet. One time she told me: “Ayaw ko ng kumain. Ikaw, kahit na sa pagtanda mo, malakas ka pa din kumain.” (I don’t like to eat anymore. Unlike you, you will always eat a lot even when you grow old.”)

Well, no argument in that!

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World With Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 4)

 I finally got to sleep in my bed last night. For 2 nights, I just squeezed myself on the rocking chair fronting Nanay’s bed. I cannot leave her because she just changes clothes in the middle of the night and go out to wake up her faithful driver, telling him she had to attend a meeting. She was up all night for 2 consecutive days so I had to watch her closely. Now, she is back sleeping like a log.

When Nanay’s Neurologist briefed us last November 2023, he told us to be ready for anything. He kept reiterating that the medication will not cure Nanay. It will only delay the worst from happening.

We breezed through 2024 without any major concerns. Nanay was passive. Her story telling greatly reduced, seldom talked but still responded to questions and inquiries. Rarely would she initiate conversations.

Nanay’s morning walk became irregular until it completely stopped this 2025. But she would regularly request her driver (now caregiver) to give her joy rides around Philamlife Village.

For her TV viewing, she used to watch EWTN, tennis and golf matches. Slowly, these became infrequent. Her only TV viewing now is the Kapamilya Mass celebrated by Fr. Tito Caluag. We attend this daily.

Nanay still prays the Grace before Meals, remembers the Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries of the Holy Rosary, and responds in the mass.

She may forget everything but she will probably always remember that she topped the Midwifery Board Exam with a grade of 99% heheheh . . .

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 3)

 For the past 2 days, Nanay talked almost non-stop. The other day, she thought we were still living in Marbel. Yesterday, she thought we were in Pampanga. She was bubbling about her agents and secretaries, meetings in her office, sales strategies, business opportunities, real properties. She couldn’t believe she already retired in 2012. She even thought Tatay was still alive! And she thought Gio and Eia were still going to school. She was planning to bring them to their respective schools. Then out of the blue she asked me if I was still looking for a husband. I told her I am not. Of course I lied heheheh . . .

She barely slept for the past 2 days. She was busy talking to people she thought were in her room. She was even laughing with them. I heard her mention their names and they were all friends and relatives who have gone ahead of us. She was conversing with them in her native tongue, Kapampangan. She kept telling me to prepare food for them.

At 5 AM this morning, she finally fell deeply asleep. I did not wake her up until 12 noon but she did not budge until 1:00 PM. She told me she didn’t want to eat anymore and when I cajoled her, she gestured to throw punches at me. I held her tight and after a few minutes, I managed to lift her up from the bed and we proceeded to the dining room.

She ate everything I prepared for her but only after a lot of convincing. She immediately went back to sleep after eating then drank her Ensure Gold @ 5 PM. After that, she dosed off until 7 PM to eat dinner. Again, it was a struggle to ask her to eat. She only took 5 spoons of rice with fish. Did not touch the grapes which used to be her favorite. 

After brushing her teeth and personal hygiene, we started with our evening ritual. I asked her to change her clothes herself so she could at least have some form of stretching, bending and pulling. After that, breathing exercises: inhale deeply through the nose then exhale slowly in a whistling manner. 5-10 reps. Then eye drops for her glaucoma. Moisturizing the face came next, followed by massaging her body with lotion from arms to toes. She was already in dreamland before I kissed her good night and sweet dreams.

I wonder what awaits tommorow . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 2)

 We were briefed by Nanay’s Neurologists and they pointed out the following:

1. There are two types of patients’s reactions to Alzheimer’s Disease: Aggresive or Passive. Aggresive behavior includes overtalkativeness, defiance and violent reactions while Passive is the exact opposite. Unlike his father, Nanay is passive.

2. There will be an evolution of Nanay’s facial recognition and memory. She will still recognize and remember the people who lives with her inside the household but eventually, we should expect the worst. Time will come when she will also forget us.

3. There will be changes in her daily habits. They will disappear one by one.

4. Her food intake will be lessened day by day until such time when she refuses to eat anymore that we will have no choice but to bring her to the hospital.

5. Her memories of people and places will slowly fade and might be completely erased someday.

6. Her preferences might change. Treat them with respect.

7. Do not force her to go out with you when she declines.

8. Encourage her to do some form of exercise everyday. Her body will deteriorate rapidly when she doesn’t move.

9. Avoid asking her the name of the person in front of her. Better to introduce the person right away.

10. Do not expect the medication to reverse Nanay’s condition. There is still no cure for Alzheimer’s Disease but the meds will hopefully slow down the process.

To be continued . . .