A Whole New World With Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 11-E)

Nanay was born in Pampanga but her adventurous Tatang and Ima tried their luck in South Cotabato during the Magsaysay Admistration. Back then, Mindanao was dubbed the Land of Promise because of its fertile soil and rich natural resources. They were given free land to farm and initial support to economically settle in their new dwelling.

Tatay was born in Naic, Cavite but was assigned to South Cotabato where he was promoted as Operator-In-Charge for the Bureau of Telecommunications.

Nanay easily learned to speak Ilonggo, Cebuano and Ilocano. But Tatay remained loyal to his native tongue, seeking the help of an interpreter whenever he encountered someone who couldn’t communicate in Tagalog.

They met in Marbel (now Koronadal City, the Capital of South Cotabato) when Nanay was serving as a Rural Health Midwife. Call it fate or destiny or whatever but their respective offices were just beside each other.

We were always on our toes around Tatay because he was a strict disciplinarian. If we wanted to keep secrets from him, Nanay would talk to me in Kapampangan while I respond to her in Ilonggo. We did that to confuse Tatay when we didn’t want him to understand what we were saying.

One time, I was watching TV and the 2 actors happened to be talking in Kapampangan and Ilonggo. I almost fell on my chair laughing. I didn’t realize that listening to an exchange of conversation in Kapampangan and Ilonggo could be so hilarious!

Nanay is still fluent in Kapampangan but I am now struggling to catch the meaning of her words. I am still fluent in Ilonggo but Nanay seemed oblivious to it now.

Now here’s the clinch: Just recently, Nanay shifted to English!

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World With Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 11-D)

Nanay was a born dancer. She did not take any formal dancing lessons but she could sway like a pro. 

Philamlife hosts an Awards Night every year to acknowledge its top producers and Agencies. At the end of the program, several DIs (Dance Instructor) appear and choose from the crowd whom they will dance with first. I try my best to be hidden but God works in very mysterious ways. More often than not, A DI will approach me and ask me to dance. My reply has always been: “Could my mother dance with you instead?” The DI then turns to Nanay and she immediately goes to the dance floor with him. 

Year after year Nanay would tell me: “You just need to be obedient inorder to dance with a partner. Just follow what he wants you to do. Do not go against his will. The reason why you can’t follow is because you are disobedient. You are a rebel.” Well, I agree with her. I prefer dancing my own way—no rules, no inhibitions. I want to dance just the way I’d like it to be.

6 years ago, our friend Tita Cors celebrated her 90th bday in the ClubHouse. There were only 2 DIs. The first DI approached me and as usual, I directed him to Nanay. I thought I was able to escape the ordeal but heaven was making a joke on me. The second DI also approached me and I already ran out of mother to bail me out. I had no choice but to hold onto his hand while making our way to the stage. Yup. The 4 of us danced on stage!

I recalled Nanay’s words and prayed to God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit; all the angels and saints; Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph; and to my guardian angel to help me OBEY the DI’s direction. 

I have no idea what happened next but I just followed the DI’s lead. The song finally ended and with great applause, we descended the stage with utmost grace and poise.

Last year, we celebrated Nanay’s 90th birthday. Instead of ballroom dancing, we had line dance instead. The DI was the only one on stage and Nanay was among the crowd mimicking her dance moves. Everybody was amazed that at 90, Nanay could still dance like before, but of course milder and slower.

My daughter Eia dances everyday at home. Nanay used to join her a few times a week but now, she prefers to sleep on her rocking chair than move her frail body. She completely lost her interest in dancing.

The once “Belle of the Ball” has now taken her Final Bow.

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World With Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 11-C)

It was 1996, the year before Hongkong was handed over by the United Kingdom to China. It was also the year before my dear parents formally handed me to my supposedly Prince Charming in my dream wedding. Now you know why it was etched in my memory.

We were part of the large Philamlife group tour in Hongkong. I was still in the Garments business  at that time but Nanay was entitled for 2 slots so as her only daughter, I excitedly tagged along.

At 38, I felt like a child again dragging my 62-yr old mother to the most exhilerating rides in Ocean Park. She gladly accompanied me. She happily obliged without any objection. 

We were queuing for nearly 2 hours at the roller coaster ride when we were informed by our Tourist Guide to join the others in the Ocean Theatre for the dolphin and sea lion show. I told Nanay she could just leave me there but she reminded me that we should comply with the itinerary of the Group Tour. Heartbroken, I left the queue and went with her. For me, the roller coaster ride of any theme park was the highlight of my thrilling adventure so you can just imagine my frusttation and disappointment.

I was still bickering while watching the marine mammals show and hearing the screams of the roller coaster riders when we saw the roller coaster suddenly stopped. We heard the announcement that there was a technical problem that needed to be resolved. Nanay couldn’t stop thanking the heavens that we followed protocol. Otherwise, I would be up there fearing for my life in mid air until God knows when.

Sometimes I wonder if I was indeed Nanay’s daughter. She was very obedient while I am a rebel. She was astoundingly diplomatic when she wanted anyone to hear her side of the story while I am brutally frank. She could reprimand someone in the gentlest manner possible while I can be ruthless.

Our current situation is a completely different scenario. I can no longer drag Nanay anywhere, not even to the park or nearby Supermarket. She vehemently defies Doctor’s orders to eat well, play games which stimulate the mind, engage in mild exercise and walk for a few minutes everyday. Whenever I ask her to stand from her rocking chair, she would instantly say “I don’t want”. In fact, that is what she always say whatever it is that I want her to do, like a broken record.

The world’s once most obedient woman is now a rebel just like her only daughter. And I thought we did not share the same blood!

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World With Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 11-B)

A native of Marbel, South Cotabato, I was barely 15 when I moved to Manila and temporarily resided at the Holy Spirt Ladies Dormitory along San Sebastian St. It was just across UE Claro M Recto where I finished High School.

When Nanay is summoned to attend a Conference in Manila, she would squeeze herself in my single bed instead of enjoying the luxury of hotel amenities provided by Philamlife. We would watch a movie together and eat out.

There was a Chinese Restaurant beside Ever Gotesco theatre and so we decided to have dinner there after watching a movie. We did not see each other for months so we had so many stories to share (that was 1973-1975 so no mobile phones yet). We were literally shocked when we accidentally found out that we were the only customers left, the waitresses and staff were half-asleep, the floor sparkling clean and all the chairs were already arranged on top of the tables. They were just waiting for Nanay and me to finish. So we hurriedly got the receipt and Nanay had to leave a hefty tip to compensate for their extended time.

That was then. We could talk for hours non-stop. Nanay never ran out of stories. She would talk and talk as if she swallowed a talking gadget. I terribly miss those days . . .

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World With Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 11-A)

In our family, Nanay took the role of the breadwinner and Tatay took the responsibility of taking care of their only daughter. Well, more of disciplining me actually. He was so strict I felt I grew up in a military camp. 

Nanay oftentimes tell me “it is NOT the quantity but the quality of time spent together that matters”. She may not be around everyday to ask how I was doing but she made sure that during summer/semester breaks, we would take a vacation somewhere together. Also whenever she was called for a Conference in Manila, she would make sure to visit me in my Dorm or apartment.

Sadly, Nanay does not remember any of those moments. But I vividly remember every single one of them.

Let me share one: We went to watch the movie Mahogany, just because I love Diana Ross. Believe it or not, we were munching on green mangoes with spicy-sweet bagoong and crunchy Chicharon inside the theatre. We were totally unaware that these were prohibited inside the cinema in Manila until one of the staff reprimanded us! We immediately apologized and promised to keep them tucked inside our bags. 

Good that we already stopped binging on our baon or we could have missed Brian’s famous line to Tracy: “Let me tell you something and don’t you ever forget it: SUCCESS IS NOTHING WITHOUT SOMEONE YOU LOVE TO SHARE IT WITH.”

Do You Know Where You’re Going To . . .

(Part 11 will document mother and daughter moments. I will try my best to recall them while I still can. Hence, there will be upcoming sub parts for Part 11. Hoping that I will not run out of letters in the alphabet heheheh . . .) Heaven forbid that I will inherit Nanay’s Alzheimer’s someday but if ever I do, I have something to remind  me of our fond memories together.)

To be continued . . .

The Golden Girls

My friend Agnes had this crazy dream before: Our BS Statistics group of friends will settle in Tagaytay when we retire and there, we can pass the time away chatting, playing, dancing, eating, etc. And because I am the only runner in the group, I will be in charge of running errands heheheh . . .

Miracle of miracles, half of my friend’s dream came true. She was able to buy a huge property in Tagaytay, built 4 houses for her family and her 3 sisters inside the compound! I could probably join her someday, when my son decides to get married and raise a family of his own. Of course I will take Nanay and Eia with me. 

Whenever Gio and I watch the TV Series The Golden Girls during his lunchbreak, I can’t help but imagine how happy it would be if our fantasy became a reality. Who knows? Maybe it will, in God’s appointed time.

What is Your Diet? (Part 2)

Last Saturday, Eia and I enjoyed a sumptuous lunch with the company of BEC 5 friends to celebrate our neighbor’s 88th birthday. We had salmon sinigang, boneless bangus, lechon kawali, grilled squid, lengua, pinakbet, pansit sotanghon. There was lumpiang Shanghai which I chose not to eat, giving my share to my beloved daughter who adored it so much. For dessert, turon with sesame seeds and avocado ice cream. I didn’t have the heart to eat the cake. It was so beautifully crafted I felt it was sacrilege to even touch it.

I almost choked on my food when my friend’s husband announced excitedly “CHEATDAY!”

That word seemed foreign to me now because I already ditched all strict weight-loss diets long time ago. A CHEATDAY is the day when you allow yourself to eat the food you want, considering that you forbid yourself to do so for the rest of the week. This is to avoid the feeling of deprivation leading to unwanted cravings.

In my mind I told myself “maybe for you, but not for me.” I cheat everyday!

What do I mean? 

I don’t wait for the 7th day to eat what I want. I do it everyday practicing the 80/20 Rule: 80% of my food intake is healthy and the remaining 20% is anything that I want, be it healthy or not.

For someone whose passion will always be eating delicious food, this is the best “diet” for me.

What’s yours?

(Chat with me via Messenger or at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)