WOULD YOU CHOOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE OR THE PERSON RIGHT FOR YOU?

Tricky.  I can almost hear you say “what in God’s name is the difference?”

I know, I know.  For a person truly in love, you feel in your bones that your “knight in shining armour” is the right person for you.  

But is he—really?  

You look at him and you see Miguel Rodriguez in the flesh.  After just a month of marriage, you realize that indeed, Miguel Rodriguez is already dead and long gone!

FLASHBACK:  My EX and I parked in front of Star City where we could see the roller coaster ride (it was my dream before to ride the roller coaster with the man of my dreams).  Amid the screams of the people enjoying the ride of their lives, he asked me a very thought-provoking question:  “What do I have to do to prove my love for you?”  It took me a while to answer his serious question.  After thinking about it for almost 60 seconds, I told him “you only have to do 3 things for me:  always make me laugh, never hurt me, and love me faithfully at all times”.   (I translated that in English for the benefit of our Non-Filipino readers but In our native tongue I told him “lagi mo akong patatawanin, hindi mo ako sasaktan, at mamahalin mo ako ng tapat.” )   Clasping his fingers in mine, he promised that he would do all those deeds  for me.  With Joey Albert’s song “Iisa pa Lamang” being played over the radio, I was mersmerized and believed him with all my heart, body, mind, and spirit.

While most people set minimum standards for their ideal husband or wife, I had none.  Maybe because at 25, I had already made a vow to remain single for the rest of my life (I actually wanted to be a nun but was instantly rejected at the convent’s doorstep but that’s of course another story hahahah  .  .  .  )  Anyway, my type of man was not the conventional one.  My love for him must be strong enough to defy this world’s expectations.  Someone I will love not because of what he has or what he is but because of what I become when I’m with him.  Someone whose presence alone will put a genuine smile on my face and lift the burdens I carry.  

How about you?  Would you choose the person you love or the one who’s right for you?

But  how exactly do you know if that person is the right one for you?  Do you keep a checklist of what your future husband or wife should at least have?  If so, what do you consider as a passing mark?  Is your list similar to like this?

1.  He should have a stable job or a thriving business that can support a family of 10 and will survive any pandemic that will hit the country.

2.  He doesn’t have to be drop dead gorgeous like Richard Gere but presentable enough for public exposure.

3.  Physically strong, healthy, and sexy.

4.  No family history of any Critical Illness.

5.  Sweet talker and have a great sense of humor.

6.  Demonstrative of his romantic affections.

7.  Shares at least one of your passions, support your hobbies and tolerate your idiosyncrasies.

8.  Amiable to your family and friends earning him their elusive stamp of approval.

9.  Generous with gifts, not only with you but to your dearest family as well.

10.  Doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t gamble, doesn’t engage in one-night stands.

11.  Willing to cooperate with household chores including babysitting.

12.  Prayerful.

And the list continues  .  .  .

Would you still say YES to the person even if his score is only 20% based from your criteria?  A number of you would tell me “I know where my heart is and it’s below my head”,  mimicking Eddie Garcia when he left  Gloria Diaz on their wedding day.  Others would say “ love conquers all.  Love should be unconditional and unselfish.  The measure of love is to love without measure.”  And so on and so forth.

I married my EX because I loved him.  He, on the other hand, married me because he speculated that I was the right woman for him. It would have been great to marry someome you love, but it would have been better if you loved the one you married.  He should have made the commitment to love me right after he said “I do” at the altar.

Loving someone and being loved in return is an exhilarating experience.  Not everyone is blessed to encounter that in this lifetime (like Park Bo-gum and Song Hye-kyo heheheh  .  .  .)   But when you do, hold on to it and never let go.

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SIDE EFFECTS OF PFIZER-BIONTECH COVID-19 VACCINE

Our 1st dose of the vaccine was June 2.  I remember the screening team staff asking me “may bakuna po ba kayo for the past 3 months”  I calmly answered her “wala” but in my mind, flashback of what happened way back in Grade 1 suddenly flooded my memory. 

FLASHBACK:  My classmates and I were lining up for the administration of a vaccine in our school.  We were then in Grade 1.  When nobody was looking, I was able to get cotton and placed it on my upper arm, deceiving everybody that I was already injected of the vaccine!  You ask me if I was vaccinated for the past 3 months?  You bet I wasn’t.   I wasn’t even vaccinated with anything for the past 63 years!

Our 2nd dose was the other day, June 23.  I thought eveything will be alright because I barely felt any pain when the vaccine was administered to me  .  .  .  I was wrong.

After 20 years of not being sick, I thought I was strong as an ox.

Ever since I turned 18, I only had fever 5 times:

1.  At 18, because of acute pharyngitis and laryngitis.  I completely lost my voice.

2.  At 23, typhoid fever.

3.  At 33, chicken pox.

4.  At 43, pharyngitis and laryngitis again!

5.  Now, at 63—side effects of Pfizer Vaccine.

Yesterday I experienced fever, headache, stomach ache, LBM, swelling and pain in my arm, overall weakening of my body, and surprisingly—engorgement of my breasts (like I was size 42 Cup D?)

Buti na lang, ever ready si Christian Gatus for his meaty and cheesy lasagna, my ordeal became lighter.

Today I woke up feeling better.  But craving for Chicken Ala King of French Baker hahahah  .  .  .

(Thanks for dropping by my blog.  Feel free to send your comments or reactions via Messenger or e-mail to ndelr62@gmail.com.  Stay safe, everyone!)

THE BEST GIFT A FATHER CAN GIVE HIS CHILDREN

 It is said that the greatest gift a father can give his children is to be faithful to their mother.

What happens when the father intentionally or unintentionally deny his children of this priceless gift?

There are 4 possible scenarios:

SCENARIO 1:  The husband truly loves his wife but was allegedly seduced by a captivating woman.  He hastily asks forgiveness from his wife and swears over his dear ancestors’ graves that he will never ever be tempted again.  The wife, understanding as she is, readily forgives her husband.  She accepts him with loving arms and just like that—they put the past behind them.  Both of them look forward to a brighter and happier future ahead of them.

What if the good husband goes astray the 2nd time?  The 3rd time?  The 4th time?

Is there a limit to the number of times a wife should forgive her philandering husband?  Is it until he offended her 70 X 7 times as mandated in the Holy Bible?  (But he is my freaking husband!  Not my brother—you roll your eyes at me.)  I could almost hear the screams of hot-tempered wives out there: “the next time that bastard cheats on me again, he’s gonna be castrated, his balls finely chopped and fed to the hungry dogs!”

What is my take on this?  Brace yourselves because it’s not what you think.  I believe that a wife should grant her husband mercy and pardon. (Hah?  I know this is quite shocking for you but you may now please close your mouth)  Before you throw me a punch or slap me twice, allow me to state my stringent conditions:  First, he must sincerely beg for forgiveness.  Second, he automatically cuts all relations with the other woman.  Third, he will avoid all occasions where his faithfulness will be compromised.  Lastly, he promises that if and when he will accidentally slip again, he will do everything within his powers to hide it from me.  (Ignorance is bliss?)  I’m sure my favorite son is glaring at me now for he vehemently objects my POV.

SCENARIO 2:  The husband allegedly loves his wife but falls madly in love with a bewitching woman—the kind of woman his wife could never be.  Even then, he doesn’t want to lose his family.  But at the same time, he cannot live without his mistress.  He wants the best of both worlds.  He selfishly intends to keep both his family and his woman.  If the wife doesn’t consent (there are some wives I personally know who submit themselves to this special arrangement), then the husband has to choose between his family and his ladylove.  If he cannot give up his girlfriend, then the marriage may end up in Legal Separation or in the granting of a Petition for Marriage Annulment or in a simple amicable settlement or worst, in barbaric and savage confrontations.  The children are the ones who suffer in the middle of this all.  While the husband and the wife may easily adapt to their new status, the children may lose themselves in the process.  Counseling may be needed to heal the deepest wounds of coping with a broken family.

SCENARIO 3:  The husband drowns in the arms of his new-found love and recklessly abandons his family.  When this happens, family members struggle with a myriad of conflicting emotions.  They stumble in the dark finding their way through the 5 stages of grief (DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, and ultimately, ACCEPTANCE).  While a handful recovers easily, some may never get over depression.  They endlessly wallow in self-pity and lose their dignity as human beings.  If you are still lost after a year of desertion, I suggest you seek the help of a Clinical Psychologist like Dino Ubalde.

SCENARIO 4:  The husband is a true-blooded Casanova.  He is never satiated with the company of one woman but hungrily craves for several beds to warm.  The decision to keep the marriage depends on the wife, whether she’s willing to be a modern-day martyr or choose to live as an ordinary mortal.  There are families, however, who have no qualms embracing polygamous affairs.  Even if the man converts to Islam, he can only have a maximum of 4 wives.  And yet there exists in our society husbands who sustain more than 4 families.  Surprisingly though, some appear to be living harmoniously with each other.

I remember Nanay telling me over and over again before:  “Minsan lang mangaliwa ang Tatay mo, magtago na siya sa pinanggalingan nya!”  I had the chance to ask my father why he never once cheated on my mother.  He answered me “the best gift I can give you is to be faithful to your mother.”  But then he added: “Hindi ako takot sa Nanay mo.  TAKOT AKO SA YO!” (I wasn’t afraid of your mother. I am afraid of you!)

I love you Tatay!  Happy Father’s Day!

EPILOGUE:

There is in fact a fifth scenario:  The husband is happily living with his wife in public while keeping his mistress in private (yes, he appears to have dual personality but he’s definitely not a schizophrenic).  A second family may exist without the knowledge of his original family.  His dark secret could only be spilled during his wake or funeral when his second family suddenly appears.  I  actually dreaded this possibility when my father passed away in 2012.  With great anxiety, I waited and waited but thank God and all the angels and saints—nobody came!  Truth to be told:  TAKOT TALAGA SA AKIN ANG TATAY KO! (My father was really afraid of me!)

Happy Father’s Day sa lahat ng mga tumatayong ama sa kanilang tahanan!  Pagpalain nawa tayong lahat ng Poong Maykapal! (Happy Father’s Day to everybody who assume the role of fathers in their respective households. God bless us all!)

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EIA’S WISH FOR MY 63rd BIRTHDAY

 Eia is my 21-yr-old daughter with Down Syndrome who has been coping with Bipolar Disorder since 2016.

Just the other night, Eia surprised me by asking “Do you have a boyfriend Mama?

Me:   I don’t have a boyfriend.

Eia:  But you have an EX.

Me:  Are you referring to your Papa?

Eia:  Yes, Mama.  Do you love him?

Me:  Yes, I did love him.

Eia:  Why did you break up with him?

Me:  Because he did not love me.  (Pause.)  Are you sad that your Papa is not living with us?

Eia:  No, Mama.  I am not sad.

With a reassuring smile, she hugged and kissed me.

EPILOGUE

Eia:  Happy bday Mama!

Me:  Thank you Eia!

Eia:  Do you want a boyfriend, Mama?

Me:  Do you want me to have a boyfriend?

Eia:  SANA!

Me:  Why do you want Mama to have a boyfriend?

Eia:  Because you have an EX when Kuya and I were still small.

Me:  Do you want your Papa to be my boyfriend?

Eia:  No, Mama.  Papa is your EX.  I want you to have a new boyfriend.

Today is my 63rd birthday.  Lord, please grant Eia’s wish.  Magkita na sana kami ng soulmate ko!

(Thanks for dropping by my blog.  Feel free to send your comments or reactions via Messenger or to ndelr62@gmail.com.  Stay safe everyone!)