A Little Bit Of Family History

Nanay was 89 when she was medically diagnosed to have Alzheimer’s. Her father and brother also had the same disease and passed away at a much younger age than her. Her mother did not have Alzheimer’s but did not escape a fatal stroke. Taking care of 10 children would certainly make a mother’s blood pressure surge.

Tatay left us at 1 week before he turned 88. His father passed away at 96 and a week later, her mother joined her darling hubby. She was 98. They lived in Naic, Cavite where they enjoyed the freshest of fish everyday.

On her death bed, my mother’s grandmother asked for pork adobo with visible fat.I know this to be true because I was there beside her when she finally said goodbye to her family. She was only 103.

What can we deduce from these limited yet significant piece of family history?

1. If you have a family member who had Alzheimer’s, there is a high probability that you will have it too. Therefore, it can be concluded that I am at risk to have Alzheimer’s. This blog is actually my journal which I can go back to if and when I need to refresh my memory (to put it mildly). 

2. When Nanay asks me how long do I think she will live, I answer her: “Apung Deni died at 103 though she ate lots of pork with fats in her lifetime. You should live longer because you always followed a healthy lifestyle.”

3. My grandparents in Naic Cavite almost reached 100. They were fortunate to have fresh fish everyday. For 79 years the couple ate together in one big plate. They also advocated the 1 fruit per meal principle. They believed that eating different kinds of fruit at the same time destroys the stomach. My father was the extreme opposite of his parents’ principle. One Christmas Season, there were already 13 kinds of fruit on the table yet he will still ask for more! (In case you’re wondering, the 13 fruits were banana, mango, papaya, avocado, guava, santol, apple, pineapple, pomelo, melon, watermelon, chico and orange.) When he asked for more, I bought him mangosteen, marang, and pear. I would have bought durian, rambutan and lanzones but they were not in season.

4. Each body is different. Eating fats may be bad to most people but it did not affect Apung Deni, my great grandmother.

5. My father and his parents all had superb memory. My grandmother, even at her 90’s could still add and subtract without using pen and paper. She and my grandfather still knew the names of all their acquaintances. Unlike my mother’s father. When someone approach him and ask him “Tatang, what is my name?” He would answer back:”You are already this old, yet you still don’t know your name?”

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 9)

THEN and NOW:

1. I used to dose off when Nanay talks non-stop. Now, the situation is reversed. Nanay sleeps when I begin to talk.

2. Nanay used to love veggies. She looks at them now with hostility.

3. Nanay started walking everyday when she retired. Then her walks became irregular. Then shorter until they completely stopped.

4. Nanay loved gardening before. Whatever she planted bloomed and bore fruits. We had santol, avocado, papaya, banana, jackfruit. Those days are over now.

5. Nanay used to dance aerobics and lift dumbbells even after she retired. Her exercise now consists of stretching, bending and pulling when she changes her undies and clothes.

6. Nanay stayed in Pampanga Mondays to Fridays. She travelled to Las Piñas Saturdays then back to Pampanga Mondays. She no longer leaves the house now except for Sunday Mass and joy rides around Philamlife Village.

7. She doesn’t recall staying in Marbel or in Pampanga. She knew she was a midwife but forgot she worked with Philamlife for 50 years. However, there are some recurring flashbacks that happen every now and then.

8. She still remembers her brothers and sisters but sometimes, she forgets who are still living and who already passed away.

9. She used to boast before that for 365 days a year, she prayed the rosary 365 times. She still recalls the Joyful, Sorrowful and Glorious Mysteries when prompted. 

10. She still recognize everybody in our household. I tell her everyday that I am her only daughter. She knows her daughter’s name is Norberta but she has no memory of our past as mother and daughter. Not a single one. One time, she did not remember me at all. She knew Gio and Eia as her grandchildren but she forgot their mother. I had to hold myself together to prevent a nervous breakdown. I know it isn’t Nanay’s fault to forget her one and only daughter but it still pained me. I have no choice but to be strong for her and my 2 precious jewels. So help me God.

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 8)

 A very close friend once told me: “Your mother talks non-stop like a radio. But unlike the radio, she cannot be turned OFF” heheheh . . .

Yup. That’s Nanay. She could talk straight for 24 hours and I am NOT exaggerating. We were in Pampanga visiting the wake of her relative. The people there took turns talking to her! Even when she was eating, she was talking continuously. She only took a break when she used the bathroom.

Her favorite story at home was when she topped the Midwifery Board Exam with a grade of 99%. She would tell this story over and over again but we didn’t mind. We responded as if we were hearing it for the first time.

When Nanay stopped talking, we knew something was terribly wrong but we just pacified ourselves that she probably got tired of talking already. 

She no longer tell stories now but mumbles to herself “ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH”.

This could stem from the fact that when people ask her before the secret of her physical well-being, she would answer “enough food, enough exercise, enough rest, enough sleep, enough stress, and enough money to last you a lifetime.”

When Nanay washes her hands she would sing “ang lahat, tatalikdan ko”. This is the last verse of “Paghahandog Ng Sarili”, the song we normally sing during the Offertory in the Holy Mass. She also sings this when she walks inside the house or when she’s just sitting down and when she’s taking a bath.

At night when I moisturize her face, I let her massage her neck so she could exercise her hands. She would do so while counting in hundreds. For this I have no idea why. I guess in her mind, she is probably counting her money!

Some Good Things Never Last

My heart skipped a beat when Barbra Streisand’s song “Some Good Things Never Last” played over the car radio on our way home this afternoon.

Flashbacks of forgotten memories flooded my mind as if everything only happened yesterday. I tried to hit PAUSE but I couldn’t stop my brain from REWINDing.

We were in his office when he gave me a shocking Directive which totally wrecked me. He instructed me never to visit him nor call him unless I was on the verge of dying. I could have stabbed him thrice and pleaded in court that my action was a Crime of Passion but I didn’t. I did not demand anything from him. I also did not accuse him of anything. I just walked out of his office. And out of his life.

It only took me a few months to recover from a previous romantic relationship but this time, it took me more than a year to gather the broken pieces of  my disheveled life. Losing a best friend was a thousand times more devastating than losing a boyfriend.

As Barbra’s song goes . . . I thought we were lovers . . . I thought we were friends. I guess when reality steps in the dreaming ends.

Unrequited love is undeniably the most painful of all human experiences (next to death of a parent). I had to revamp my whole life to start anew without him by my side. It was a desolate journey.

I thought the crying would never stop. I thought I could never forgive him.

But miracles do happen. Through time the deepest of wounds healed and unconditional love prevailed.

We are back being friends and catch up whenever our schedules permit!

Letting go is an agonizing process but completely necessary to find yourself again and live your life with confidence, honour and dignity.

How God Answers My Prayers

God answers my prayers in 3 different ways:

1. He immediately gives me what I want.

2. He doesn’t give me what I want but He gives something BETTER, not necessarily for me but for my loved ones.

3. He doesn’t respond for a loooooong time. When I am about to lose faith and hope he whispers to me:“Stay still. Listen. Trust in the Lord thy God. The BEST is yet to come.”

OK Lord. I have prayed for a SOULMATE long enough. I have stayed still for as long as I could remember. Maybe the best that you have in store for me is to remain single for the rest of my life? Then I accept—with my whole heart, mind, body and spirit!

Farewell, my Soulmate. I have to let you go before we even see each other . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 7)

My mother is the most positive person I’ve ever known. My father is the most negative. Opposites do attract each other right?

A particular situation may be negative from any angle possible but Nanay will naturally find something positive about it. On the other hand, even though an incident is bursting with positive energy from all sides, Tatay will deliberately extract something negative about it.

My father and mother clash on anything and everything on the planet. On one of their anniversaries (they survived 55 years of marriage), I gave them a mounted poster of a dog and a cat lovingly embracing each other with the caption “it’s because we are so different from each other that we have so much to share”. Touche.

One time, Nanay told me that Tatay visited her. I asked her if he was already inviting her to go with him to heaven. She answered “No. He just woke me up and told me to eat”. I jokingly told her “I am sure Tatay will never fetch you to go with him because he is now very happy not having you opposing him.”

While Nanay is soft-spoken, gentle and kind, my father was loud, aggressive and brutally frank.

Alzheimer’s Disease did not change Nanay’s demeanor. She never fails to express her gratitude whenever someone does something for her, however miniscule. She does not only say THANK YOU but utters “thank you, thank you, thank you.” She doesn’t grumble when she asks for anything. She doesn’t raise her voice or lose her temper. She easily says “sorry” when she thinks she did something wrong,

But one thing definitely changed. Nanay told me “I LOVE YOU” only ONCE in my entire lifetime. This was when I was about to enter the Operating Room to give birth to Gio by Caesarian Section. Nowadays, she tells me she loves me EVERYDAY, whenever I kiss her goodnight and bid her sweet dreams before I leave her room.

And when I whisper in her ears “I am Nora, your one and only daughter.” she would answer back “I am Imang Toning, your one and only mother.”

Even with Alzheimer’s, Nanay has kept her sense of humor intact!

To be continued . . .

My Love for Carbs

When it comes to Carbs, I believe that God so loved the world that He gave us Carbs to enjoy heaven on earth.

Whenever Gio takes a bite of my Sister’s home-made brownies, he would declare: “heaven does exist Mama, because I swear I am in heaven now. Thank God for your Sister!”

If God gave us Carbs because he loved us, we should also love Carbs right?

Why am I talking about Carbs now? Well, I just want to take a breather from updating the Series on our journey with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s Disease. Also because my new running buddy Jay and I were talking about Carbo Loading last night.

Carbo Loading is crucial in a training program to avoid “hitting the wall” during a Marathon or Ultramarathon. There are varying views how Carbo Loading works but these are mine:

A day before a Half-Marathon, I include 1/2 cup of rice during lunch and dinner. And additional serving of 1-2 Carbs.

2-3 days before a Full Marathon, I include 1/2 cup of rice during breakfast, lunch and dinner. I also eat an additional 1-2 servings of Carbs each day.

5-7 days before an Ultramarathon, I double my total Carbs intake everyday.

I used to wonder what Carbo Loading meant. The Carbs intake described in journals was my usual food intake. I just couldn’t get it. I couldn’t practice Carbo Loading because I was actually Carbo Loading everyday! I only realised what it exactly meant when I decisively removed rice from my diet and applied portion control in my daily servings. After adapting a healthy lifestyle, I finally got to experience Carbo Loading before a race.

Eureka!

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 6)

Today I will tell you a secret. To hide the identity of the persons involved, I will simply refer to them as A and B. 

Here goes:

Through the recommendation of a very dear friend, we consulted Dr A for Nanay’s failing memory. He prescribed a series of tests including a Psychological Exam which took Nanay 2 days to finish. Based from the overall results, Nanay was positive for Alzheimer’s but negative for Depression.

During our first consultation with Dr A, he asked me how I knew the Doctor who referred him to us. I told him she was my classmate from Grade 1 to 2nd Yr High Sch. back in Koronadal City. He was impressed that we are still friends. And I found it weird that he asked for my friend’s specialization and where she was practicing. My friend recommended him to us because they were classmates in Medical School. How come Dr A didn’t know anything about my friend? Was he having pre-Alzheimer’s symptoms?

In our next meeting, we showed him all the results of Nanay’s tests and exams. Naturally, I had so many queries that I desperately needed to know. He answered in very general terms, not specifically directed to my questions in particular. And before I could voice my apprehensions, he started babbling about his own mother having Alzheimer’s. 

When Nanay’s meds ran out, we came back for our third consultation. I planned to ask him again about the questions that he failed to address. Before I could even ask him, he poured his heart out on his dedication to his mother, making him the only one in the family who devotes time for her, insinuating that his siblings didn’t care. He had lots of bottled sentiments and fears. The way he opened up to me, I should have charged him the Consultation Fee of a Psychotherapist! I decided then and there to look for another Neurologist.

Dr B is the exact opposite of Dr A. For her, a Psychological Test was NOT necessary. Just by observing and conversing with Nanay, she automatically deduced that Nanay was going through Depression. She did not even bother to read the 3-page Psychological Assessment which Nanay took 2 days to finish!  She requested more laboratory tests/exams and we complied.

Dr B was more engaging to Nanay and she answered my questions that Dr A failed to settle. She even showed Nanay the actual exercises that she should do everyday. And she gave us activities that we could do as a family for Nanay to participate in. I was more satisfied with her than Dr A on this regard but I couldn’t fathom why she would trust her instinct over the result of a tedious and meticulous Psychological Test. Her conclusion that Nanay was in a state of Depression depressed me.

In our third Consultation, Nanay’s Cholesterol was at a normal level but she still prescribed medication for it. According to her, it is for maintenance. Now THAT bothered me. For 90 years, Nanay never took any maintenance drug. Given this and her previous presumption, I now plan to look for another Neurologist.

So the secret is out. You don’t only seek for a second opinion. Search for a third one!

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 5)

 If there is one person in the world who abhors eating, that would be my mother dearest. She is the only person I know who loses appetite in front of a table with colorful varieties of food. Her lifelong dream was for a scientist to develop a serum that would enable her to refrain from eating for 1 whole year while maintaining her strength and stamina.

So unlike her only daughter. My passion was, is, and will always be food! My stomach has the ability to expand itself to unlimited capacity when served with various sumptuous dishes.

People in Pampanga compared Nanay’s eating to a bird. They swear a bird eats more than her! Pampanga is famous for its gastronomic delicacies but Ima (Kapampangan word for mother) would rather eat alugbati (malabar spinach), saluyot (jute leaves) and labong (young bamboo shoot). 

But indeed, people change. 2-3 years ago, she told us she didn’t want to eat veggies anymore! So we gave her meat instead. However, she would just chew the meat and extract the juice, not swallowing the piece. Nowadays, she would just eat fish and Henlin siomai.

She was never fond of sweets. Eating dessert was a mystery to her.  Puzzled, she would ask “how can you still eat something after eating a meal?” I would bluntly tell her that the word dessert appears in the dictionary for a reason heheheh . . .

But surprise of all surprises, Nanay started eating a domino-like portion of Snickers after lunch just before the pandemic. She only stopped doing this around 3 months ago.

She used to eat 1/2 cup of rice but this was slowly reduced through the years. It is already a great miracle if she could finish 5 half-filled spoons of rice now. 

Nanay weighed 99 lbs when she was transferred from South Cotabato to Pampanga. She was 110 lbs when she retired. Now she weighs 85 lbs—my weight when I turned 15. I was 90 lbs when I graduated from college (average increase of 1 lb every year).  After only a month with Coca-Cola, my weight ballooned to 105 lbs! (Gaining an average of 1 lb every 2 days!)

Our greatest challenge now is how to coax Nanay to eat. She would always tell us that she is not hungry. It takes a lot of patience and persistence to convince her that it is only in her mind that she is full but in reality, she has not eaten yet. One time she told me: “Ayaw ko ng kumain. Ikaw, kahit na sa pagtanda mo, malakas ka pa din kumain.” (I don’t like to eat anymore. Unlike you, you will always eat a lot even when you grow old.”)

Well, no argument in that!

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World With Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 4)

 I finally got to sleep in my bed last night. For 2 nights, I just squeezed myself on the rocking chair fronting Nanay’s bed. I cannot leave her because she just changes clothes in the middle of the night and go out to wake up her faithful driver, telling him she had to attend a meeting. She was up all night for 2 consecutive days so I had to watch her closely. Now, she is back sleeping like a log.

When Nanay’s Neurologist briefed us last November 2023, he told us to be ready for anything. He kept reiterating that the medication will not cure Nanay. It will only delay the worst from happening.

We breezed through 2024 without any major concerns. Nanay was passive. Her story telling greatly reduced, seldom talked but still responded to questions and inquiries. Rarely would she initiate conversations.

Nanay’s morning walk became irregular until it completely stopped this 2025. But she would regularly request her driver (now caregiver) to give her joy rides around Philamlife Village.

For her TV viewing, she used to watch EWTN, tennis and golf matches. Slowly, these became infrequent. Her only TV viewing now is the Kapamilya Mass celebrated by Fr. Tito Caluag. We attend this daily.

Nanay still prays the Grace before Meals, remembers the Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries of the Holy Rosary, and responds in the mass.

She may forget everything but she will probably always remember that she topped the Midwifery Board Exam with a grade of 99% heheheh . . .

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 3)

 For the past 2 days, Nanay talked almost non-stop. The other day, she thought we were still living in Marbel. Yesterday, she thought we were in Pampanga. She was bubbling about her agents and secretaries, meetings in her office, sales strategies, business opportunities, real properties. She couldn’t believe she already retired in 2012. She even thought Tatay was still alive! And she thought Gio and Eia were still going to school. She was planning to bring them to their respective schools. Then out of the blue she asked me if I was still looking for a husband. I told her I am not. Of course I lied heheheh . . .

She barely slept for the past 2 days. She was busy talking to people she thought were in her room. She was even laughing with them. I heard her mention their names and they were all friends and relatives who have gone ahead of us. She was conversing with them in her native tongue, Kapampangan. She kept telling me to prepare food for them.

At 5 AM this morning, she finally fell deeply asleep. I did not wake her up until 12 noon but she did not budge until 1:00 PM. She told me she didn’t want to eat anymore and when I cajoled her, she gestured to throw punches at me. I held her tight and after a few minutes, I managed to lift her up from the bed and we proceeded to the dining room.

She ate everything I prepared for her but only after a lot of convincing. She immediately went back to sleep after eating then drank her Ensure Gold @ 5 PM. After that, she dosed off until 7 PM to eat dinner. Again, it was a struggle to ask her to eat. She only took 5 spoons of rice with fish. Did not touch the grapes which used to be her favorite. 

After brushing her teeth and personal hygiene, we started with our evening ritual. I asked her to change her clothes herself so she could at least have some form of stretching, bending and pulling. After that, breathing exercises: inhale deeply through the nose then exhale slowly in a whistling manner. 5-10 reps. Then eye drops for her glaucoma. Moisturizing the face came next, followed by massaging her body with lotion from arms to toes. She was already in dreamland before I kissed her good night and sweet dreams.

I wonder what awaits tommorow . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 2)

 We were briefed by Nanay’s Neurologists and they pointed out the following:

1. There are two types of patients’s reactions to Alzheimer’s Disease: Aggresive or Passive. Aggresive behavior includes overtalkativeness, defiance and violent reactions while Passive is the exact opposite. Unlike his father, Nanay is passive.

2. There will be an evolution of Nanay’s facial recognition and memory. She will still recognize and remember the people who lives with her inside the household but eventually, we should expect the worst. Time will come when she will also forget us.

3. There will be changes in her daily habits. They will disappear one by one.

4. Her food intake will be lessened day by day until such time when she refuses to eat anymore that we will have no choice but to bring her to the hospital.

5. Her memories of people and places will slowly fade and might be completely erased someday.

6. Her preferences might change. Treat them with respect.

7. Do not force her to go out with you when she declines.

8. Encourage her to do some form of exercise everyday. Her body will deteriorate rapidly when she doesn’t move.

9. Avoid asking her the name of the person in front of her. Better to introduce the person right away.

10. Do not expect the medication to reverse Nanay’s condition. There is still no cure for Alzheimer’s Disease but the meds will hopefully slow down the process.

To be continued . . .

A Whole New World with Nanay’s Alzheimer’s (Part 1)

My mother was the first female provincial District Manager for sales of then Philamlife, now AIA Phils. Her area was South Cotabato. The Main Office was in Marbel (now Koronadal City) where we used to reside and a Branch Office in Dadiangas (now GenSan, the hometown of Manny Pacquaio) which we visited once a week.

Nanay’s family was originally from Pampanga but her parents settled in South Cotabato during the Magsaysay administration. In 1977, she was promoted as Agency Sales Manager for Pampanga and later on, Olongapo was included in her area of responsibility as well.

From an ordinary underwriter specializing in Salary Deduction, she rose to fame leading a Powerhouse Sales Agency in Pampanga/Olongapo. She served her beloved company for 50 solid years.

Nanay focused on her career and loved playing tennis, golf and bowling. Our house is practically a museum of her certificates, plaques, trophies, prizes and magazine write-ups.

She practiced a very healthy lifestyle. Even at a ripe age, she has no maintenance meds. According to her “I am not a car. I don’t need maintenance.”

My mother lived her life to the fullest. She earned the namesake “Mother of Perpetual Help” because of her kindness, gentleness and generosity.

When she retired at 78 (there’s no retirement in Sales so she actually resigned), she still dressed up and wore make-up everyday as if she’s going somewhere, Then after a few years she stopped doing this ritual but still meticulously groomed herself whenever she goes out of the house. Then one day she declared that if we want her to live longer, we just let her stay in the house and not force her to go out with us. Of course we still tried to convince her to join us during special occasions. Then came the pandemic. We were 8 in our household but I was the only one in and out of the house. After the pandemic she would only go out for Sunday mass but she still managed to walk a few blocks around our house every morning.

During meals she would tell the same stories all over again. We didn’t mind, as we knew oldies tend to repeat themselves. Then the story telling stopped. We told ourselves she probably got tired of talking already. We noticed changes in her behavior like telling me to stop giving her books for she no longer wanted to read. She used to love watching tennis and golf matches but that also stopped. There were memory lapses here and there but we thought they were simply part of the normal aging process. A Seminar on Dementia was held in our Parish and we attended. After that eye-opener, Nanay agreed to undergo the necessary series of tests and exams. It was then confirmed what we dreaded most: She has Alzheimer’s. 

To be continued . . .

Tribute to Ss Lou, Our Beloved Cluster Head

There are people who make a difference in other people’s lives. Ss Lou did beyond that. She made other people’s lives better. I, for one, became a better person because of her, so is every person who was fortunate enough to encounter her in this lifetime.

Ss is not a typographical error. She calls me Ss Nora so I call her Ss Lou. According to her, Ss stands for Soulsister. (God apparently couldn’t find a suitable Soulmate for me so He sent a Soulsister instead heheheh . . .)

I rejoined Handmaids Of The Lord in 2003 but it was only during the pandemic that Ss Lou and I became close. Call me snob, introvert, or whatever but I deliberately stayed in the shadows to hide my true identity. I was afraid to be known or recognized, fearing to be given responsiblities that would sacrifice my crucial obligations as father, mother, daughter, and homemaker to my family.

Very few people exhibit the same generous disposition as Ss Lou’s. Even those days when I strictly maintained significant distance between us, she was always showering me with kind words and gestures. It was her unrelenting spirit that finally broke down my wall and welcome her into my chaotic world. 

Ss Lou was the kind of person who will move heaven and earth to help anybody in need. She would pray unceasingly to lift up our individual concerns. She would go out of her comfort zone to lighten the burden of the oppressed. She would spend extra hours to think of ways and means to improve something that needed to be mended. She would love unconditionally and give readily without expecting anything in return. She was always beaming with joy, happiness and enthusiasm that would melt even the hardest of hearts. She would inspire you to believe in yourself, do your best and serve with grace, humility and gratitude to the Almighty.

Thank you Ss Lou, for letting us experience God’s redeeming love through your unparalled faith and devotion. Though I still cannot accept the harsh reality that you will be gone forever, thank you for making my 67th birthday uniquely memorable by allowing me and the countless people who adore you bring you to your final resting place. Hard as it is, I bid you farewell. You will be greatly missed, never to be forgotten. We love you, Ss Lou, now and forever!

(For comments/reactions, reach me via Messenger or at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

What is The Perfect Day For You?

 It was raining cats and dogs this morning, courtesy of Typhoon Crising but still went out to replenish our zero stock of fruits. Dropped by the water refilling station before going home. While trying to keep myself dry under the makeshift tent, a man was venting out his frustrations over a reckless driver to the water station staff. He had a distinct piercing voice that I would rather not listen to but I couldn’t run out of the tent because of the pouring rain. I tried to think of happy thoughts to distract myself of hearing his lamentations and I thought of this: “What could be the perfect day?”

Picture this: The perfect day must have the perfect weather—sunny but not too hot. I am joining the 100km Ultramarathon with a group of running friends who are highly motivated, properly trained and strongly determined to finish the race. We lift each other up through the 100km race route with our inspirational quotes, funny anecdotes and tear-jerker stories. When we hit the unavoidable wall, we cling to each other for support and encouragement. As we slowly approach the FinishLine, I see my family cheering for me with a bouquet of red roses and ice-cold beer. All the pains and aches in my body disappear and I fly like the wind! I receive my trophy, finishers shirt and medal but the flowers, hugs and kisses and beer from my family are the ones that would make the day perfect!

How about you? What do you picture as the perfect day?

(You may reach me via Messenger or at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

What is Your Diet?

 This was the question randomly thrown at me this morning before we practiced YOGA.

Almost instantaneously, I answered: “Diet does not exist in my dictionary. I don’t patronize any. I eat anything and everything, anytime I want.”

We proceeded with YOGA so I did not have time to explain what I really meant.

Let me qualify what I said.

Yes, I do eat anything and everything, anytime I want BUT I practice portion control—except when I am celebrating someone’s birthday in an Eat-All-You-Can Buffet. Unlimited Lunches or Dinners are usually scheduled in advance so I purposely fast the day BEFORE and the day AFTER I binge on my favorite food/desserts.

My typical day looks like this:

I take Herbalife 24 with oats and banana after my morning run. On days that I don’t run because of the rain, I only eat when I’m hungry. I take papaya, a cup of oats, boiled egg, and dark chocolate drink. At other times, scrambled egg with spinach and tomatoes on toast.

My lunch consists of fish with sidedish and 1 slice mango eaten with rice. If pork or beef or chicken is served for lunch, I wrap it in lettuce with kimchi. My dessert is sweet sampaloc/dark chocolate/peanuts/Hi-Chew and Coke Zero. Take note that some days, I take sweet sampaloc and dark chocolate and peanuts and Hi-Chew and Coke Zero all at the same time for dessert.

When I’m home, my snacks become my early dinner. It consists of pandesal with kesong puti and spanish sardines and fresh carabao milk.The number of pandesal depends on how hungry I am. But usually 1-3 pcs.

At 12 midnight, my son Gio takes his lunchbreak (US based) and we snuggle to watch 1-2 episodes of The Golden Girls together. I normally don’t eat with him but when I do, I take a cup of trail mix with milk.

I am 67 years old, 5’1” tall with vital statistics of 37-29-38 weighing 120 lbs on good days and 122 lbs on bad days. I already quit fantasizing for 115 lbs. but still dreaming to lose 1-2 inches off my waistline  heheheh . . . Instead of killing yourself for a Barbie-like figure, focus on gaining strength, wellness, and endurance. Your world will be more enjoyable!

(For comments/reactions, reach me via Messenger or ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

Soulmates Do Exist (Tribute to my Friend D)

Some people wander through life silently wishing to find their soulmates. Some are lucky without even looking while some (yours truly included) never caught one even if they fervently pray for it from dawn til dusk.

D and I first met in Cebu, when I was taking a break from my wayward thesis writing. She was then the apple of my friend’s brother’s eyes with whom I was staying. Anybody can easily fall in love with D. She was beautiful, smart, soft-spoken, kind, well-mannered, hard-working, helpful, honest and caring. Without further ado, we clicked in an instant. Naturally, I flew back to Cebu when they finally decided to tie the knot. I was profoundly honored to be part of their once-in-a-lifetime wedding entourage.

Fastforward to 2002. With Ate Ella and 2 children in tow, we made our Great Escape to Cebu. Unfortunately, my friend and her family were out of the county during that time. D graciously offered their marital house for us. That is when I discovered that D and her husband (my friend’s brother) called it Quits. Strange how we could have the same fate when we practically have opposite personalities. I was shocked beyond words. Unlike me, D was the kind of woman any man would choose in any given moment. On top of her exterior and interior attributes, she is a master chef and baker. 

In the midst of her personal struggles, D made sure that we enjoyed ourselves in Cebu. Thanks to her unconditional love, I have never seen my children as happy as they were there. I swear we could have stayed in Cebu forever but Nanay begged me to return to Las Piñas to take care of Tatay who suddenly couldn’t walk because of our frightening disappearance.

Strong as she is, D moved on with her life and fearlessly migrated to the States. Knowing her, I believed in my heart that things will definitely be better for her there.

Guess what? She is now joyfully and happily married to the man of her dreams and doing her passion—cooking and baking!

I just loovvveeee happy endings. Happiest birthday my dearest friend! With all that you are, you deserve the best. Thank you for being you. I hope someday I get to meet your darling hubby and indulge in your yummy masterpieces there in the US.

Yes, soulmates do exist but I just wonder how God picks the person He will bless it with. Have you found yours?

Still waiting hahahah . . .

(Thanks for dropping by. For comments/reactions, you may reach me via Messenger or ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

My Typical Training Program

There are a lot of training plans you can find in the internet. Based from my 17 years of passionate love-hate relationship with running, here is my typical weekly schedule. The distance covered will be dependent on my targetted race.

Monday: Easy Run (Level 1-2)

Tuesday: Strength Training

Wed: Speed Interval Workout (complete Workout below)

Thurs: Tempo Run (Level 3-4)

Fri: YOGA (bonding with my son Gio and daughter Eia)

Sat: Rest (I do my marketing/Grocery shopping)

Sunday: Long Run (Level 2-3)

The Levels are numbered 1-5: 

1 = Brisk Walk

2 = Slow Run

3 = Normal Run

4 = Fast Run

5 = Sprint

Below is my Complete Speed Interval Workout:

Warm Up: 5-10 mins. Level 1-2 

Alternating 30 sec Level 5 and 30 sec Level 1-2 (Repeat 5-10 times)

5-10 mins. Level 2-3

Alternating 1 min. Level 5 and 1 min. Level 1-2 (Repeat 5-10 times)

Cool Down: 5-10 mins. Level 1-2

When you are pressed for time, you can still finish the complete Workout in only 30 mins. When you’ve got enough time, the longest Workout will take 1 hr. 

You actually have 2 Rest Days if you are not practicing YOGA. You may spread them 3-4 days apart.

(You may reach me via Messenger or ndelr62@gmail.com. Thanks for dropping by!)

Are You Ready to Run the Marathon?

 If you think you are ready, then nobody has the right to tell you that you’re nuts to attempt it. But it would certainly help if you already did the following at least once before training for the marathon.

1. Finishing 5k in 30 to 35 mins.

2. Finishing 10k in 60 to 70 mins. 

3. A sub 3 hr Half Marathon.

 I believe that speed should come first before distance. This is to equip you with the much-needed confidence that you will reach the FinishLine within CutOff. If it takes 1 hour for you to finish 5k, try to improve on that first before trying to run 10k. Others aim for a personal best of sub 30 mins for a 5k but for ordinary mortals like you and me, 30-35 mins would do (mine was 31 mins.). When running 5k becomes a breeze for you, that’s the time to level up to 10k. Again, there are others who are obssessed with running a sub 1 hr for 10k. (They tell themselves: “If Piolo Pascual can do it, why can’t I?”) Don’t be so hard on yourself. 60-70 mins. will suffice. 

For 1 whole year, I stayed with 10k like my soulmate. It became my comfort zone. I could run 10k without stopping and still looked fresh and bubbly at the FinishLine. I had no intention of running the Half Marathon until Jaymie Pizarro announced The Bull Runner Dream Marathon for first-time marathoners. I did not even think twice. I registered right away. And so I ran 21k for 3 consecutive months before TBRDM. My first Half Marathon was at the Condura Skyway, clocking at 2 hrs 37 mins.

For scientific tips and guidelines, visit runnersworld.com and marathonhandbook.com.

If you think you’re ready, join me in the Cavinti Road and Trail Marathon this coming Dec. 14, 2025.

Good luck with your training!

(You may get in touch with me via Messenger or ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

There’s No Easy Way

 It has been ages since my last post. I have always made a personal goal to put a smile on your face when you read my blog. To lighten the burden you are carrying, to have a relaxing break amid the chaos happening around you. When I am down and grieving, I know I cannot fulfill that mission. That is why you haven’t heard from me for a while now. 

There’s no easy way to get over a heartbreak. As Ziva of NCIS aptly put it: “one does not get over the loss of a loved one. You just have to go through with it.”

Life is short. Savor each moment when you can still breathe, laugh, and love. Do not waste your time holding elephants in your chest. Let go of hurts, bitterness, frustrations, supressed anger. Forgive others who have hurt you even though they seem not to care. Forgive yourself. You are not perfect. So is the rest of the human species. You can no longer change the past. You have no choice but to accept that. But you can choose to be better today and every day thereafter. 

Nourish old friendships but always be open to new relationships. It might even surprise you that there are still good folks out there. People who are kind, thoughtful, generous, caring. And some will still love you just the way you are.

In joy and in pain, give thanks. For how can one experience true bliss and happiness without going through pain and suffering?

(For comments, you may reach me at ndelr62@gmail.com. Thank you for dropping by. Stay safe everyone!)

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 10

 This rundown of 2024 Highlights should have ended in January but March is almost over and I haven’t listed everything yet. Well, as our Grade School teacher used to babble, “finished or not, pass your papers”. So I will end this recollection here and now. No IFs and definitely no BUTs.

As you may have noticed, the sequence of the 2024 Highlights were written in random order. It did not in any way follow a pattern whatsoever.

In so doing, let me finish this 10-part synopsis with my daughter Eia’s return to Shakey’s (Eia is my daughter with Down Syndrome). Yes, she did! But unfortunately, the branch in SM Southmall closed so even though SM MOA is farther, we accepted DSAPI’s (Down Syndrome Assn. of the Phils. Inc) recommendation to transfer her there.

We had to pay ₱35 for the CAVITEX toll (₱70 for the 2-way trip) and ₱50 for the parking fee. Not to mention the cost of gasoline and the extra time allotted for the journey going there.

But why would I still consent for her to work in Shakey’s MOA given these negative scenario?

It is because I love my daughter so much that I would move heaven and earth just for her to experience what living really means. I consider her work as part of her Occupational Therapy. And that makes everything else acceptable.

(This is the final part of my 2024 recap. Stay safe everyone! Thanks for bearing with me through all these years.)

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 9

 Exactly one year ago today was the saddest moment of my life in 2024. Ate Ella, the “WIND BENEATH MY WINGS” for 24 years finally left us to be reunited with her family in the States. I was of course very happy for her but at the same time, severely devastated with her departure.

All good things never last. A part of me died when I watched her disappear from my sight at the airport. I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing so I just cried and cried until God knows when.

I lost my no. 1 fan, my guardian angel, my counsellor, my constant partner through all the darkest and happiest days of my life. It was not easy to let go. But Ate Ella fervently prayed for this miracle. This was a dream come true for her. The least I could do was to be happy for her. Even though my heart was grieving. 

It still is.

Why Forgive?

 Let’s face it. When we are deeply hurt, we cannot find in our hearts to forgive the persons responsible for our misery. We are just humans after all. We recklessly cling to our anger, bitterness and resentments for as long as we possibly can. We couldn’t stop thinking of how we could take our revenge. We even wish that lightning strikes at them thrice. Or the ground they are trodding on suddenly breaks and swallow them whole.

While it is totally true that time heals all wounds, only time will tell when the lingering pain will stop—unless you deliberately put an end to it. You have the power in you to make it happen. When you hold on to negative emotions, you are actually punishing your own self. This kind of stress may unfortunately lead to a higher blood pressure and worse, a fatal heart attack.

Let go of everything that makes you boil inside. Be kind to yourself. Forgiving others doesn’t mean you have to be lovey-dovey with them. At the very least, free yourself of negative thoughts towards them. Then ask God to bless them instead of cursing them. Whether they ask forgiveness or not, forgive them anyway. Be responsible for your own actions and emotions.

Do yourself a favor. Choose happiness. Choose to forgive.

(Thanks for dropping by. Your comments/reactions are important to me. You may email them at ndelr62@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone!)

 

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 8

Do you harbor some regrets in your life? I have a few and the passing of my dear cousin last Decemer triggered one of them. I should have previously dropped everything and rushed to the hospital when I could still talk and laugh with him. For days, I cried because I was thousand of miles away when he died and couldn’t visit his wake. I was so afraid that by the time I get back in the Phils, it would be too late.

But truly, God works in very mysterious ways.  Gil’s burial was postponed and I was able to say my proper goodbye to him. His wife and sons were relieved to see me before he was laid to his final rest. We buried him on the very morning that I arrived. So grateful that our flight was not delayed and we touched down as scheduled. 

To be continued . . .

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 7

Gio and I started our yoga practice January of 2023. Randomly, Eia would go with us and observe. But whenever I encourage her to join us, she would automatically affirm that she didn’t want.

Then sometime last year, Gio had to skip yoga for the physical therapy of his painful shoulder. Eia just watched me leaving the house alone for yoga practice.

Without any prodding from me, Eia simply declared one day that she will go with me to yoga.  And so, the two of us attended our yoga class without Gio until my son was finally discharged from his physical therapy.

Now, the three of us get to bond together by practicing yoga as one, happy family. Isn’t that amazing? Life is great!

To be continued . . .

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 6

 One fine night, my son Gio unexpectedly asked me “would you be willing to accompany me in a 4k race?” I hid my excitement and replied “of course I would be more than willing. But isn’t there a longer distance, perhaps a 10k?” My son immediately informed me that there was only 1 category and no other options.

A few minutes later, he asked for my Credit Card. To my bewilderment, we were joining the Pokemon Run in Taiwan! Too late to back out now. I already consented to his wish.

And so we flew to Taiwan and arrived late at night. Woke up the following day and walked 4.5km to the venue. A festive atmosphere filled the grounds, families with babies, toddlers and children enjoying the Pokemon-inspired exhibits.

I will spare you with the details and go directly to the gist of this story.

We headed to the airport in the afternoon, boarded the plane and arrived late at night in Vietnam.

We again boarded the plane in the morning and headed to Bali, where we stayed for 2 nights. In going back to Manila, we stopped over first in Singapore.

So to summarize, we flew to 5 countries in 5 days. This may be a natural occurrence to some people but definitely NOT with me! 

To be continued . . .

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 5

My mother has always been athletic. She was a volleyball spiker in her teens. A tennis player in her twenties. A golfer in her thirties. A bowler in her forties. And she did not just play for recreation. She religiously trained and played to win in competitions, usually reaching the Championships.

I have often wondered where she got all that energy, when she barely eats! She has no favorite food and her motto is “I only eat inorder to live.” Yup. That is my mother—eating only so she could perform her daily activities. She doesn’t eat junk foods nor drink alcohol. A little rice and lots of veggies used to be her food staple.

When people ask her what is her secret for maintaining her 36-27-36 figure she would answer in jest “I cannot maintain my production so I just maintain my figure”. When interviewed what is her secret for not having any maintenance meds, she would boastfully reply—“I am NOT a car. I don’t need maintenance. Just have enough food, enough sleep, enough exercise, enough rest, enough stress, and enough money to last a lifetime.”

My mother is the epitome of clean, healthy living. Yet she could not escape the illness that flows through the veins of her lineage. Last year, she was medically diagnosed to have Alzheimer’s Disease. (My tears are flowing while I am writing this.)

With her failing memory, she instructed me to invite anyone who was still excited to see her on her 90th birthday. Attended by 120 friends, relatives, former Philamlifers, Marbeleños, villagemates, her birthday bash was a Reunion of sorts. Filled with laughter and tears, it was an event no other.

To be continued . . .

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 4

My daughter Eia accompanied me to the HOLD (Handmaids Of the Lord) International Conference in Cebu. But prior to that, we explored the beautiful spots in Bohol. Together with Sister Luming and her only son Jay, we stayed overnight in one of the beach resorts in Panglao. 

We had the weirdest experience in Panglao. We were in the Philippines but it seemed we were in a foreign land because we were the only Filipinos there! We felt like foreigners in our country. But you go anywhere in Tokyo and you will most likely bump into a fellow Filipino. It just feels like home.

All my fears about Eia attending the Conference were unfounded. She miraculously did not exhibit any mood swings and was in fact more behaved than the other Handmaids sisters. For 3 days she listened intently to the speakers without falling asleep, sang and danced during the PraiseFest, ate whatever food given to us, walked without qualms from our Hotel to the venue, whispered gently to my ears if she wanted to visit the Restroom, actively participated in the set activities. Eia has Down Syndrome with Bipolar Disorder but blended beautifully among my Handmaids sisters during the Conference!

To be continued . . .

Tribute To My First Love

 Today is the 67th birthday of my First Love. I am talking about a real person—not Coca-Cola, which I loosely refer to as my “First Love”.

I was 9 when I wrote in my diary that I would never marry anyone except this guy who gave me the reason to go to school every morning. We were in 3rd Grade when he transferred from Iloilo to our school.

You see I was bullied since Grade 1. By someone untouchable in our school—the son of our Principal. There were days when I would drag my feet to go to school when I already anticipated what will happen in class. It has always been the same troublesome scenario. This boy would tirelessly tease me to death that I begged my mother to enroll me in Judo-Karate so I could beat him mercilessly heheheh . . .

Everything changed when the boy from Iloilo joined our class. I would jump out of bed in excitement to see him. My attention was diverted to him and nothing else mattered anymore. He turned my world from dull grey to flaming red, sunny yellow, cool blue, refreshing green and huggable pink! Whenever he speaks and call my name, it was beautiful music to my ears.

To my First Love, thank you for adding spice and color to my young life. I thank God that we are still friends until now. I wish you good health, loving family, true friends, profitable business and personal peace. Enjoy your birthday celebration!

(For reactions/comments, you may email me at ndelr62@gmail.com.. Thanks for dropping by. Stay safe!)

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 3

 My proudest moment: Finishing the Luneta to Tagaytay 60km Ultramarathon which garnered the biggest donation ever since I started my fund-raising advocacy for the Down Syndrome Assn. of the Phils. Inc. way back in 2008 when I joined a 5k race in celebration of my 50th birthday. It even surpassed my UP Diliman to UP Los Baños 80km Ultramarathon in 2018!

My generous friends probably thought that this was gonna be my last and final Ultra because I was already 66 when I attempted to run this for the third time. Or they most likely took pity on me because in 2023, we had to stop at km 47 and decided to go home. My Plantar Fasciitis was killing me then. But I vowed to redeem myself and I certainly did!

For the first time, I wasn’t the last to arrive at the FinishLine which was strategically located at the highest point of Palace in the Sky. 8 runners Did Not Start. 8 runners Did Not Finish. And drums roll please . . . 8 runners came after me! 

Never mind if my toenails met their untimely demise after being soaked in water for 9 hours. We had to endure the pouring rain from 4AM until 1PM causing the agonizing death of my toenails but I was simply ecstatic arriving earlier at the FinishLine that I did not feel any pain at all!

My running buddy Ann joined me at Km 47 where we previously gave up and provided me the much-needed support until the very end. I am extremely grateful to her.

To be continued . . .

Tribute to the Father of my Children

 Today is my EX Wedding Anniversary . . . Supposedly the 28th!

After everything that we went through, I still thank God that our paths crossed. I thank God for giving us the courage to tie the knot in 1997 against all odds. Without this Union, I wouldn’t have Gio and Eia. That, for me, would be the real tragedy of all time.

Thank you for coming into my life. Though our marriage didn’t last as planned, I have my 2 precious jewels whom I love more than life itself. I wouldn’t have experienced the true meaning of happiness without Gio and Eia.

I am delighted that we now talk as friends. No more hurts, no more bitterness, no more regrets. God is great! May He bless you abundantly, now and forever.

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 2

 I finally fulfilled my promise to my favorite son his dream vacation in Japan. It took me 20 years to save for this Anime Package Tour which cost me an arm and leg (make that 2 arms and 2 legs heheheh . . .) but no amount of money could equal the happiness on my son’s face when he eventually experienced his long-time obsession.

The 9-day Tour was a learning experience for me. Though I was not familiar with Anime, seeing my son in Cloud 9 was all worth it. We were in a group from different nations but the composition was unexpected in this age and time. There were 3 couples, 1 family, 1 mother & daughter AND surprise of all surprises—there were 4 mother & son tandems! I was quite shocked that there still exists Mama’s boys from different parts of the globe . . .

To be continued . . .

2024 HIGHLIGHTS: Part 1

 Just with the blink of an eye, January 2025 is almost over! With all the fuzz and the buzz of the Christmas Season festivities, we did not even have the time to pause and reflect what transpired in 2024. What made us jubilant, what brought us down. What were the lessons learned?

Join me as we go back in time to feel once again the happy moments, the priceless memories, the painful experiences. If your life in 2024 were to be documented in a movie, what would it be like? Would it be hopelessly Romantic? Heart-pumping thriller? Feel-good comedy? Tear-jerking drama? Or would it be close to a Multi-awarded Variety show? Hoping it won’t be a gripping Suspense/Horror movie!

Close your eyes and bask in the silence of your heart. Reminisce as far as you can.

In a nutshell, my 2024 was explosive!

Top of my List is something I still could NOT believe I did: Riding the plane 17 times last year—13X with my son Gio and 4X with my daughter Eia.

To be continued . . 

Do It Anyway

Inspirational Lines from St. Teresa of Kolkata:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; FORGIVE them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives; be KIND anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; SUCCEED anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be HONEST anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; BUILD anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be HAPPY anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; DO GOOD anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the BEST you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, IT IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD; it was never between you and them anyway.

The Wife is the Cause of her Husband’s Headache and the Husband is the Cause of His Wife’s Heartache

This is according to our guest priest in this morning’s mass, trying to put humor in his sermon. As expected, the congregation had a good laugh, forgetting for a moment the excruciating headaches and heartaches they were going through because of their respective spouses.

But me? I heaved a deep sigh of relief after painful memories kept flooding back. I silently murmured to myself—“thank God wala na akong asawa! (thank God I don’t have a husband anymore!)”

There is no perfect marriage. Somewhere along the way conflicts will come and go. There is no one-fits-all prescription when to let go and when to hold on. I strongly suggest you seek professional and/or spiritual help when you are physically or emotionally abused. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of the precious people you dearly love.

Love yourself will you?

First Love Never Dies

 Why am I suddenly talking about First Love now, when it’s the Feast of the Epiphany?

Well, it is for the simple reason that my First Love reminded me that I have neglected writing in my blog for so long already.

Thank you, my friend. This 2025, I will try my very best to be less delinquent.

To all of you, my dear readers, hope you had a memorable Christmas celebration. If 2024 was a good year for you, then make 2025 better. If it was bad, learn from your mistakes and make 2025 a good one. There will always be things beyond your control. The perfect plan will sometimes fail. It is OK to cry when things go wrong. Let it all out. When in doubt, ask for guidance. There will always be people who will be against you even though you feel you are the kindest person on earth. And even if you’re weird and crazy at times, your true friends will always stand by you and love you for who you are. 

Let us all have an amazing 2025!